I had a really shitty childhood, I dont think Id say I was suicidal but I wanted to die or thaught about it sence 6 grade. I thaught about all the aspects of it, like what would happen? would I just go blank like b4 I was born and not know I exsist? Would I really be going to an after life like I was grown up to believe? I thaught about how id hurt my family and I didnt care cept for maybe my brothers. I went through a lot of psychological thinking, and it didnt get anywhere because no one noes whats beyond and the dead dont talk.