(Not a racist joke in any way:......)

A Canadian tourist, Tom, goes exploring China and he gets really, really lost in the woods; he goes about two days without eating until he comes by this little house. He knocks and an old Chinese man answers it; Tom asks to stay because he's really hungry and tired.

The old man says "Alright, but you can't sleep with my granddaughter." Rolling his eyes, Tom agrees, but the old man says "I warn you, if you do, you shall suffer the three worst Chinese torture tests known to man." Tom still agrees, and he goes in and eats....the old man's granddaughter is the hottest girl he has ever seen in his whole life! She's a fucking fox, so that night Tom goes to her room and they fuck. They keep the noise down, and Tom reckons they got away with it...he goes back to his room on the second floor.

Tom wakes up the next morning with a weight on his chest, and he sees that it's a 50 lb rock. On it is a note that says "Chinese torture test #1: 50 lb rock on chest"

"This is lame," says Tom, and he goes and throws the rock out the window. As it's falling, however, Tom sees a note on the other side: "Chinese torture test #2: Left testical tied to rock".

"Oh, shit!" says Tom; it's too late to catch the rock, so he jumps out the window after it; it's only the second floor. As he's falling, Tom sees a sign on the wall: "Chinese torture test #3: Right testical tied to bedpost."