i have only gotten two tickets, and they were both parking citations from upd on campus because my school over-sells the parking decals by thousands and then thinks it's ok to ticket students when they can't find a damn parking spot....

i've only been pulled over for speeding once, and i was going 65 in a 35, it was 3 am or so, i was extreeeeeeeeeemely drunk (i know, i know, that's a bad idea, and i don't drive drunk anymore, thank god i never was in an accident while i was driving drunk) off of half a fifth of jager and half a fifth of rum. so i was pretty fucking drunk. but somehow i was able to appear sober for 5 minutes while i talked to the cop and he just gave me a warning...he asked if i had been drinking, and i just gave him my best smile and said "no sir". and he didn't even breathalyze me or make me get out of the car