Quote Originally Posted by slowlickitysplit
I can almost feel the shit storm falling down on me already but I have to say I disagree with you birdgirl. I think "Well adjusted" is code for refined. In a "well adjusted" relationship I don't get drunk, kick in the door and start calling her a whore, etc. Instead it is the little, refined fights. Even as simple as "Your not wearing that are you?".

I think it is in men's genetic makeup to procreate with many women and we therefore feel some resentment against the institution of monogomy and we tend to take out our frustrations on our women.
Women are not without fault though. I think women need, at thier core, to feel they are in a secure relationship with a strong (Emotionaly, mentaly, physicaly) man and they tend to test it by being bithes sometimes. Weather it is the loud mouthed putdown in the supermarket or a refined "dig" durring a candle light dinner.
Human nature is human nature. We can bemoan it and we can try to change it but we ignore it at our own perril.

- Slow -
I think you must be reading through a filter from your own experiences, Slow. Which is fine. But by well-adjusted, I simply mean emotionally healthy, balanced, and with self-esteem enough to be attracted to someone who'll treat her decently. Refinement and/or civility is something else entirely.

I agree that women like to feel they're in a secure relationship with a strong man. But I believe that women who like themselves and truly like and respect their partners don't make little underhanded, passive-aggressive "digs," even under a "refined" guise. I know such behavior can occur because I've seen it myself. We have some friends, Jim and Joyce, who have a negative way of interacting. He openly puts her down at home (and often other places, too), and so she takes every opportunity to make not-so-hidden digs when they're in social situations with groups of friends. They're not direct enough with each other about whatever's bothering them to be able to work it out between the two of themselves in private, yet they're constantly angry at each other. And so that underhanded, dysfunctional dance goes on. Emotionally healthy, or well-adjusted, couples don't feel the need to behave either openly or passively aggressive with one another. The more I see of the marriages around me, the more I realize that the healthy ones are the exceptions. I thank goodness for my parents and my husband's parents, whom I think both had healthy, balanced relationships. We were lucky to have had that modeled for us.

I agree, by the way, that men are genetically and evolutionarily designed to want to procreate with more than one partner. Monogamy is not a natural state for guys, despite the fact that it's what's expected as the social norm. Although women are genetically/evolutionarily more suited for monogamy because it serves our child-rearing and security purposes better, I maintain that it's not an easy thing for us, either. Difficult or not, that doesn't mean I intend to cheat on my husband nor for him to cheat on me, either. But I do agree that that monogamy is challenging.
birdgirl73 Reviewed by birdgirl73 on . why do people like to be treated like shit? myself included sometimes have you noticed that when you are with someone and you treat them good they treat you bad. its fucked up but thats the way it is ,i guess the woman who i do truly have strong feelings for is a bitch.she gets me more angry than anyone else can i literaly fantasize about choking her to death and at the same time Rating: 5