I have the weirdest mental condition in the world

[GotWake88]

I have experienced something like this. On some occassions, I could ride it out and had experienced once a 'calculation' that could never ever be explained in words. Only once could I ride it out without freaking out. It normally occured when I was in a situation where I was near a lot of people(particularly restaraunts). Smoking even a bowl before bed every night keeps it away though, and I have only noticed it once or twice since I started smoking.

[pixel]

sounds like a panic attack or something... your "calculations" are most likely just numbers youre making up in your head, along with pretty much everything that you say is happening. and it sounds like something you embrace so i dont know what you want to get from this thread

[mrdevious]

sounds like a panic attack or something... your "calculations" are most likely just numbers youre making up in your head, along with pretty much everything that you say is happening. and it sounds like something you embrace so i dont know what you want to get from this thread

I was just curious if anybody else has experienced it, or heard of it as some psychological condition. But hey, I'm smoking little bits of weed right now and it's 100% gone so long as I continue doing so. Even if it does come back, I've learned to suppress it, at least enough to not have it hit me with full force.

[40oz]

Thats strange. I havn't come across anything like that in my psychology studies so far.

How long do these episodes last? what happens when you close your eyes?

[chantoke]

if you've read 'slaughterhouse-five' kurt vonnegut spends the majority of the book with a character that has this condition.

if i remember right, it's a variant of depersonalization or derealization syndrome. something messed up happening in your childhood would explain it.

or you could read 'slaughterhouse five' for the more sci-fi explanation

[StonedAssasin]

Well Ive had this one time where I hadnt gotten no sleep at all the night before.. got high as fuck in the day.. and I was taking a shower.. feeling warped.. my mind kept idk kinda like talking down on me.. saying bad words to myself in my head.. just completely putting myself down.. and I actually fed it.. I contributed to it.. I kept thinking crazy shit about my self on purpose and just looked at it like a joke.. I figured it was my weary mind rambling on... or demons.. they do talk in our heads, ofcourse you'd have to believe those things.. atleast when my mind races on like that on pot or not that's what I believe.. I just go along with it thinking a bunch of crap and then laugh. Last night though, I was half asleep and half awake.. and Im guessin I had sleep paralysis because I was hallucinating my grandma walking in on me with a crystal pendant shaped like a cross and she was telling me something about "I only accept things about God no saints or anything only God" some weird shit like that and I was like awake in my head yet picturing her walkin in and putting the pendant on my night table while I tried to move and close my eyes.. I tried to move so much that my jaw started to open and shake and my arms felt like they were trembling and I was getting tired.. and then Boom my eyes opened.. it's weird. I was awak and dreaming at the same time... *shivers* but bleh.. stuff happens. :/

[da jungalist]

Look into Astral Travelling....

[Coelho]

MrDevious, i think you have a rare gift. Your description is very similar to some mind states produced by deep meditation (or some hallucinogens). Lots of people spends a lot of time and energy learning to meditate just to achieve a mind state alike yours, and some people spends a lot of money using "hard" hallucinogens to achieve this same state... i think you should use your gift properly.
"Knowledge is a frightening affair", said Don Juan. But you must not let your fear overcome you. The fear can be defeated. Its hard, i know, but its very worth... imagine all the wisdom and knowledge you will have acess... imagine how many worlds of perception you will reach... man... i would smoke 1Kg of weed just to feel what you described... so, gather all your courage, and use your gift properly. Im sure it was not given for you by chance, but by choice. If you was gifted with this, there is a reason for it. So, dont waste it... Use it...and you never will regret.
Good luck! :thumbsup:

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

MrDevious, i think you have a rare gift. Your description is very similar to some mind states produced by deep meditation (or some hallucinogens). Lots of people spends a lot of time and energy learning to meditate just to achieve a mind state alike yours, and some people spends a lot of money using "hard" hallucinogens to achieve this same state... i think you should use your gift properly.
"Knowledge is a frightening affair", said Don Juan. But you must not let your fear overcome you. The fear can be defeated. Its hard, i know, but its very worth... imagine all the wisdom and knowledge you will have acess... imagine how many worlds of perception you will reach... man... i would smoke 1Kg of weed just to feel what you described... so, gather all your courage, and use your gift properly. Im sure it was not given for you by chance, but by choice. If you was gifted with this, there is a reason for it. So, dont waste it... Use it...and you never will regret.
Good luck! :thumbsup:

(I'm MrDevious in case you don't know)

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Well Coehlo, that's quite an optimistic view you have. I think you're probably right, maybe not to the range of having access to foreign knowledge (though who really knows?), but it tears the ego apart and makes me aware of every bit of information and every one of the infinite processes in my brain, all at once. I never could handle the experience even when I tried to embrace it, it's like watching your consciousness and the world all tear apart into a formless, single existence of infinite complexity.

But maybe now that I've studied buddhism considerably more and been practicing meditaiton a lot, I could handle a more extreme perception. It's odd because now that I think of it with an understanding of enlightenment (as far as possible without actually attaining it), it seems a lot like how Buddha described nirvana. Extinction of self, of the illusion of existence, of the barriers that separate you from the rest of reality. Yet while enlightenment is considered a wonderful heavenly state by most, it was like hell to me.

However, I have been smoking plenty of weed which makes this thing go away 100%. I'd have to abstain again and wait about a month before it kicks in again. I just hope I'll have the courage to make something useful of it for once, because let me tell you, I've done many powerful (which I won't name) hallucinogens and none of them could overwhelm me like this.


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On a side note, it was usually triggered by my body getting too hot when I was trying to fall asleep, or already asleep. Now when I get too hot in my sleep I just get incredibly vivid, 100% real, terrifying nightmares. They have no meaning though I assure you, my latest theme has just been being eaten by fast-moving zombies. *shiver*

[mikeo14]

whoa thats trippy