I have the weirdest mental condition in the world

[mrdevious]

I'm not really expecting anybody to be able to answer this, because it's just downright odd. I've studied psychology (moderately) and know plenty, and I've never heard anything about this. BUT, on the odd chance somebody does know what I'm talking about, or maybe experienced it themselves, I'd love to hear about it.


So I'm currently 22, and this thing came about when I was 13. The first time happened when I got a fever, and has happened every time I got a fever since. It also happens if I'm sleeping or trying to sleep and get too hot, and occasionally it can happen just out of the blue. It finally subsided to the point where I could easily repress it when I started smoking weed at 19, and it rarely showed up. Now that I've massively cut back though, I notice it's coming back.

So what am I talking about? Well, it's an odd thing to explain. I get these "episodes" where I feel like my consciousness going into infinity. I literally feel my conscious self expanding to infinite dimensions, exponentially speeding up to infinite speeds, processing a million times more information than I would be normally capable of; infinite information really. It's incredibly overwhelming, and when I couldn't control it as well for the first few years, it was the closest thing to hell I've ever experienced. It's having your ego smashed into bits.

I remember when I was 14 and had one come on me at 3:00am. I started taking in every dimension of the room, started seeing it and everything in it as every possible shape, form, and size. My brain was trying to count how many atoms where in everything, how many nerves were in my body, and I could see them all clearly and focus on them all at once. Most of these trips are like that, but I always fight as hard as possible to supress them and not let them fully get away like it did that night, when I was so overwhelmed I had to run outside into the open air.

I've tried going with it a few times, but every time it was WAY too much information to handle and I couldn't take more than a few seconds of it. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Any speculations?

mrdevious Reviewed by mrdevious on 06-09-2007. I have the weirdest mental condition in the world I'm not really expecting anybody to be able to answer this, because it's just downright odd. I've studied psychology (moderately) and know plenty, and I've never heard anything about this. BUT, on the odd chance somebody does know what I'm talking about, or maybe experienced it themselves, I'd love to hear about it. So I'm currently 22, and this thing came about when I was 13. The first time happened when I got a fever, and has happened every time I got a fever since. It also happens if Rating: 5

[Metasteel]

Something similar happened to me once when I was a weed noob and I ate more than I could handle. I had to keep my eyes shut constantly because the imformation flowing in would hurt. Don't know if that's close to what you experience.

[nightlight]

I had an episode similar to that a while back. It lasted for 5 days where i couldn't get any sleep because of all the information rushing into my head. I had the most absurd clarity. EVERYTHING was a learning experience, like literally every step i took. unfortunately the sleep deprivation got to me and i had to be hospitalized. I had one more brief episode similar to that the day i was out of the hospital but it hasn't come back since then.

[BlAzInIt4:20]

When I was little, I'd have these... dreams I guess...

Real strange dreams...

Like I was suffocating. Like everything was closing down on top of me. It felt like I was getting a huge rush of adrenaline, and when I woke up I'd be half awake and half asleep and start hallucinating. As I got older it stopped, but I can occasionally 'make' myself experience it...

iv had anxiety attacks like that, after my mother died about 2 weeks after i woke up in the middle of the night un able to breath i felt as if my throat closed and my mind was drifting as far as it as ever drifted from me. it was terrible called my grandmother in the middle of the night freaking out she said for me to put a rubber band on my wrist and snap it, or a hair brush and run it down my forearm over and over. it causes you to relax and your mind drifts away from that terrible feeling.

[Matt the Funk]

Are you bi-polar...?Sounds like mania to me...

[Frivolous248]

Why on earth would you want to suppress that? I'd keep a tape recorder handy for when it happens 'n see if it was real or just a bunch of bullshit my mind was feeding me. Because if you had access to infinite information, just think of all the crazy shit you could do.

I say you try to embrace that shit dude.

[MegaOctane12]

When you say information do you mean hypersensitivity? Because I have had times when my heart has raced so fast I felt like I was going to literally pass out, paranoia hit me instantly, I couldn't relax, dehydrated as fuck. Couldn't have a conversation with anybody, couldn't sit still, all I could do was spectate the firework display in me head. My thoughts were racing so fast I didn't have time to finish thinking one before another one started.

[xfukinxfedxupx]

this is different but as i was driftin to sleep a few days agoi had my eyes closed and i felt my body being lifted by some kind of force, iwent onto my stomach and was flying and i actually physicly felt it then i started falling and i could feel wind rushing past me. i was fuckin weird. but cool.

[mrdevious]

Are you bi-polar...?Sounds like mania to me...

Nope, not bipolar or depressed from any chemical imbalance. This expereince isn't an emotional one, though terror can ensue from the overwhelming experience. Picture Peyote x10, but not hallucinogenic (as far as I can tell).

Why on earth would you want to suppress that? I'd keep a tape recorder handy for when it happens 'n see if it was real or just a bunch of bullshit my mind was feeding me. Because if you had access to infinite information, just think of all the crazy shit you could do.

I say you try to embrace that shit dude.

I know man, I have tried to embrace it. The first time it happened to me it was actually wonderful, I was seeing literally millions upon millions of calculations in my head to determine my total mass, then after a while it started to overwhelm me and just became teh 7th layer of hell. Every time since it's been powerful and overwhelming, and even when I conjure up the bravery to face and embrace it, I make it 10 seconds max before I feel like my consciousness is going to explode. The brain just isn't meant to process that amount of information. I wish I could fully convey it, it's like becoming solely consciousness and having it expand and speed up infinitely, like there's all these mental restraints you're not even aware you have until they suddenly disappear.

When you say information do you mean hypersensitivity?

Nope. Literally data without numerical symbology, processing incredible amounts of measurements like how many atoms are in my body, nerves in my system, and every possible form every piece of matter around me could exist in. Consciousness loses all form. Crazy sounding I know, but I'm otherwise 100% sound of mind.

[birdgirl73]

I was going to say the same thing about it having some elements of mania, too, and folks don't necessarily have to be bipolar or some officially diagnosed version of that disorder to have occasional episodes of mania or hypomania. That's the only sort of condition it vaguely approximates, and even then it's not very close.

Do you think it could be a result of a medication? Or your neurological condition, Mr. D?