No, I'm not afraid of death, although I used to be.

The only thing I'm really afraid of is God.

I used to be afraid of death. I think it was always much more than being afraid of the unknown. When we think of death, there is a spiritual darkness that we sense within our hearts, it's a shadowy image that we cannot trust, it evades our grasp . It's a cold place that's hidden from love and a sense of personal contact. Even without the zombies and ghouls and ghosts, which are in themselves a of manifestion of death, we can sense the bitterness, harshness and corruption of spiritual death in our own members, which is a manifestations of spiritual death, and in it's natural course is an allegory of spiritual death being born of corruption.

I've heard people say how if this is all there is, then life is pointless. And I totally agree. Personally, that was a major thing that pushed me to seek out what I know and believe now. But how do you reconcile the love and hope and joy you wish to have now while still recognising the hopelessness and oblivion that's always ready ? Even if we only die and that's it like atheists believe, I find the value of life so incredible that the idea of losing it all is absolutely miserable.

I think to me, nomatter how much I may have disliked the alternatives, I always had hope that I could find something to reconcile the love and humanity, justice etc. I needed, and what happens to everyone and why it happens when we die. I became very honest with myself because I knew it was vain to seek out something perhaps I didn't want to find.