Sleeping around

[B.Basher]

I'm in a long term relationship with the one girl I have ever slept with. It's approaching the three year mark and, contrary to my randy best buddy, i've never felt the urge to sleep around or 'experiment'.

The thing is, i've met a lot of guys who, while being generally nice people, are what I can only describe as fucked in the head when it comes to women. They talk about them like they are things that are only good for taking home after a night in the club. The guys I work with are so shamelessly disrespectful in the way they talk about girls and girlfriends that it makes me sick. From their stance, a conversation about when to slap a girl during sex and forcing them to do it on their period "because its the best time" is the definition of masculinity.

My dilemma is, i'm a pretty open minded guy and I do my best not to slate others for how they choose to live, but while it's tough to respect guys like that, it's also harder to face up to the reality that it's a common 21st century attitude when your a young adult, particularly in the UK.
All my close friends and I believe in treating women with respect, put them before yourself, just be a gent. Sure, my best friend is having a blast at uni, quite a few a week by the sound of it, but he's a good guy and knows how to treat a lady. The thing is, this laid-back attitude to casual sex and pulling culture seems to fuel this chauvanistic, elitist delusion that guys like my workmates share.

I can't complain, who's to say they shouldn't be the way they are when the girls they get with are clearly into them in the first place? I hate to feel old fashioned, but the pulling culture really seems to degrade the ideas of love and emotional connection to the point when your a loser for believing in it. I'm slated by many at my uni for not going out as often as a student "should", my simple reason being the nightlife in Leicester is utterly useless for anything but finding a stranger to screw, so what's a manogomistic chap like myself meant to do? We have entire club nights dedicated to it, get drunk and fuck someone completely random. Hey, what could be more fun?

I guess all i'm hoping for is the preservation of the real cheese-golden values of love, which seem to be on their steady decline as my generation are inspired and celebrated for being unfaithful and totally void of any respect or values. Nahsayin'?

PS: I know it's not everyone, just needed to vent. :jointsmile:

B.Basher Reviewed by B.Basher on 06-06-2007. Sleeping around I'm in a long term relationship with the one girl I have ever slept with. It's approaching the three year mark and, contrary to my randy best buddy, i've never felt the urge to sleep around or 'experiment'. The thing is, i've met a lot of guys who, while being generally nice people, are what I can only describe as fucked in the head when it comes to women. They talk about them like they are things that are only good for taking home after a night in the club. The guys I work with are so Rating: 5

[napolitana869]

You're girlfriend is really lucky to have a guy like you. The sad thing is that having a guy like you is viewed lucky rather than something assumed

[Kenn]

if ur in a long term relationship ..Why would ya even think abt cheatin. You have taken the time to bond and get to know ur partner you share your secrets ur fears,they become a part of you. That cant compare to sex with a stranger.

[deftdrummer]

I got turned down by a girl i work with today. Feel like an idiot now.

[rebgirl420]

^^ Dont feel like an idiot, everyone has been shot down. It happenes. Just pick yourself up and keep on moving haha.

And cheating to me is absolutely f*cking wrong. I mean wtf, the idea just makes my stomach turn.

[Nocturnal Stoner]

I have a friend who is in relationships for a while but sleeps around sooo much its unbelievable.

When he started going out with this girl, he was chatting to me bout when he fucked another girl in a parking lot. I said arent you going out with the other girl and hes like, yeah but its only been the first week.

He sleeps around alot, but he does treat the people he goes out with, with respect, Its kind of hard to imagine but he is a strange exception.

[Reefer Rogue]

I'm in a long term relationship with the one girl I have ever slept with. It's approaching the three year mark and, contrary to my randy best buddy, i've never felt the urge to sleep around or 'experiment'.

The thing is, i've met a lot of guys who, while being generally nice people, are what I can only describe as fucked in the head when it comes to women. They talk about them like they are things that are only good for taking home after a night in the club. The guys I work with are so shamelessly disrespectful in the way they talk about girls and girlfriends that it makes me sick. From their stance, a conversation about when to slap a girl during sex and forcing them to do it on their period "because its the best time" is the definition of masculinity.

My dilemma is, i'm a pretty open minded guy and I do my best not to slate others for how they choose to live, but while it's tough to respect guys like that, it's also harder to face up to the reality that it's a common 21st century attitude when your a young adult, particularly in the UK.
All my close friends and I believe in treating women with respect, put them before yourself, just be a gent. Sure, my best friend is having a blast at uni, quite a few a week by the sound of it, but he's a good guy and knows how to treat a lady. The thing is, this laid-back attitude to casual sex and pulling culture seems to fuel this chauvanistic, elitist delusion that guys like my workmates share.

I can't complain, who's to say they shouldn't be the way they are when the girls they get with are clearly into them in the first place? I hate to feel old fashioned, but the pulling culture really seems to degrade the ideas of love and emotional connection to the point when your a loser for believing in it. I'm slated by many at my uni for not going out as often as a student "should", my simple reason being the nightlife in Leicester is utterly useless for anything but finding a stranger to screw, so what's a manogomistic chap like myself meant to do? We have entire club nights dedicated to it, get drunk and fuck someone completely random. Hey, what could be more fun?

I guess all i'm hoping for is the preservation of the real cheese-golden values of love, which seem to be on their steady decline as my generation are inspired and celebrated for being unfaithful and totally void of any respect or values. Nahsayin'?

PS: I know it's not everyone, just needed to vent. :jointsmile:

I agree fully.

[GraziLovesMary]

Dont feel bad, ButtonBasher... you are correct that monogamy is on the decline and faithfulness is being thrown out the window by both sexes. That just means we have to lead by example so that the ladies out there know there are still some real men still on the loose. It sucks, I know, but your coworkers immaturity will only serve to elevate you above them, so just let it roll of your back.

I just ended a nearly 4 year relationship with the girl I swore I was going to marry a few months ago because she wasnt being faithful. I met her through church and everything.. this girl had been in love with me for over a year before I even knew she existed and look how it turned out. Just goes to show you never can tell. All you can do is have faith and LEAP.

Good to see theres more men out there that understand the value of a equally monogamous relationship, and realize that sex with an emotional bond attached to it is so many times more fulfilling than just casual sex.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I've never been one to cheat, but for some reason always get cheated on. Some people are just greedy and that's what it comes down to. No matter how much a girl (or guy) puts out, mentally or physically sometimes you just can't please a person. BUT there ARE people out there with morals and standards, as I hope this thread has shown you

I think cheating is a huge sign of immaturity, as Grazi pointed out. Although, I wish I could say people out grow it, some people just make it a lifestyle and THAT my friends, is how STD's are spread -gag-

I've only had ONE one night stand and we were both completely trashed out of our minds, while I don't regret it..it still makes me feel disgusting (years later). A good reminder as why I'll never do THAT again.

[GraziLovesMary]

I've never been one to cheat, but for some reason always get cheated on. Some people are just greedy and that's what it comes down to. No matter how much a girl (or guy) puts out, mentally or physically sometimes you just can't please a person. BUT there ARE people out there with morals and standards, as I hope this thread has shown you

I think cheating is a huge sign of immaturity, as Grazi pointed out. Although, I wish I could say people out grow it, some people just make it a lifestyle and THAT my friends, is how STD's are spread -gag-

I've only had ONE one night stand and we were both completely trashed out of our minds, while I don't regret it..it still makes me feel disgusting (years later). A good reminder as why I'll never do THAT again.

Amen, baby.