first 3 people to post a good joke get a rep!

[Blowboy]

Q:It's sharp and if it hits you in the head, you're dead, what is it?
A: a fighter plane

Don't know if I'll get the rep, the coke-joke was pretty good
(I'm rhyming a lot today, apparently)

[Skink]

me...

[Staurm]

Want tae hear a dirty joke?

Jock the Coalman! Haha

[typoerror]

a little girl is walking home from school. a young boy is in his front yard tossing a football to himself. the boy stops the girl and tells her "see this football? its a boys football! girls cant have them! they are made for boys, not girls!"

the girl runs home crying. her mother ask her "whats wrong dear" to which the girl replies. " i want a football mommy, i want a football!!!" her mother gets her a football immediately as she hates to see her daughter in such a state.

the next day the little girl walks down that same street, tossing the football to herself. she arrives proudly at the young boys house and show him what shes got. "my mommy got me a football, see?" she says. "they are not just for boys!" the boy replies "oh yea? well this is a boys bike! girls cant have them! they are made for boys, not girls!"

she runs home as fast as she can, "mommy, mommy i want a boys bike! i want a boys!" "ok" her mother replies and off they go to get a boys bike.

next day she ride her new boys bike proudly home from school anxiously awaiting her upcoming meeting with that bratty little boy."my mommy got me a boys bike, see?" she says. "they are not just for boys!" the boy gets frustrated now. he pulls down his pants and underwear, proudly displaying his genitals and says, "this is a boys penis! boys are born with them! your dumb mommy cant go buy you one!"

the girls runs home hysterical.......


the next day the little boy is outside waiting for the little girl to come by. as she arrive he says, with a smirk on his face, "your mommy didnt go out and buy you a penis did she???"

the little girls smirks back, lifts her dress, pointing to her vagina she replies, "my mommy told me as long as i have one of these, i can have as many of those as i want!!!!"

[MFer]

I dont have any non-offensive jokes :\

In advanced, I sincerely apologize to all our female members, but this joke is all in good fun.


What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
.
.
.
Slap her until she starts again :thumbsup:

[psychedellics]

why is laura bush always on top?
because W can only fuck up

[LittleLefty90]

Little Vito sat on a park bench eating candy bars one after another. By the fifth one a little old man that had been sitting a bench away walked over and told Vito, "young man if you keep eating those candy bars like that you're gonna lose all of your teeth; you're gonna get really fat; and the girls won't pay you any attention." At which point Vito replied, "my grandfather lived to be a hundret n sevin," the old man inquired, "did he eat all of those candy bars too?" Vito says, "naw he kept his fuckin mouth shut."

imp: