driving back from a food run one day, my friend and I happened to notice some goings on at a church on the side of the road. There was a flat trailer that had been dragged out next to the road and and a cross hoisted atop it. Attached to this cross appeared to be whatever "true believer" felt themselves worthy of being jesus, complete with crown of thorns and fake blood.

At the moment we drove by, there happened to be a rather overweight, affluent looking white individual playing the part of Jesus. This creepy looking psudo-savior then locked his attention onto my car and apparently delivered a piercing stare into the very soul of my passenger. My passenger was a tough kid, no doubt about it. A fairly skinny kid, I'd seen him take out much larger opponents in fights so badly that he would be calling out the punches by the end.

The reason I mention this is simple. The moment after locking eyes with Bubba Jesus my friend began screaming in a pitch higher than most little girls. I swear, it took almost half a mile of road in between us and the imposter before I could get him to quiet down.

To this day I don't know what caused it. Perhaps the multiple bowls from the Goldschlager bong smoked earlier. Maybe he just overreacted. Whatever the reason, I still laugh about it to this day.