Several Questions

[Mr Greenthumb]

Ugh, i feel so stupid posting this but its been on my mind for a while. And i need to vent my thoughts.

i am about to turn 18 and i've never done anything with anyone. The closest i've been to sex would be a "hello" hug. (aww, the phrase "hello hug" sounds so cute).
So after trying litterally everything i could think of to get a date (causing me a world of trouble mentally) i decided to train myself not to want companionship of that kind. I live way to this day.
But its becoming clearer and more apparent that i'm living a lie. I cannot shake the need to be with someone.

So my questions are these. I have extream anxiaty about EVERYTHING. So i need some reasurence that sexual things aren't anything to worry about. My first kiss, should i just kiss whoever will kiss back or wait until i get a gf/bf?
Is sex or a gf/bf something i can live without? And since i've never had any chances what so ever on getting a date (No one had ever like me in that way) i have absolutly no confidence in myself.
I would like a gf/bf but i'm pretty damn scared. Don't really know why but it scares the hell out of me more then death, more then pain.

I also need help figuring out why i have the problem of no one liking me. Just for closure, cuz i've been trying to figure out why since i was 12. I used to have lots of confidence, i tried everything i can think of trying encluding not trying. It leads me to belive that there is no trick to it, and that just doesn't seem possible.

Seriously, its been getting to me so much that its ruining my life. I dropped out of school cuz i couldn't take seeing all the couples. I can't work for pretty much the same reason. I don't hang out with many girls or gay/bisexual men because if i start liking them in that way i'll start despising them to the point where i can't be around them without becoming quietly enraged. Man my coping skills must be terrible now that i think about it.

Anyway, i am very unstable because of it. (Weed works wonders for my mood and thoughts though, helps keep me sane for some reason. Why?) I have it in my head that i would be a lot better off if i just had sex once or even kissed someone but my mental state and lot in life prevents me from doing that. Thoughts?

Mr Greenthumb Reviewed by Mr Greenthumb on 05-31-2007. Several Questions Ugh, i feel so stupid posting this but its been on my mind for a while. And i need to vent my thoughts. i am about to turn 18 and i've never done anything with anyone. The closest i've been to sex would be a "hello" hug. (aww, the phrase "hello hug" sounds so cute). So after trying litterally everything i could think of to get a date (causing me a world of trouble mentally) i decided to train myself not to want companionship of that kind. I live way to this day. But its becoming clearer Rating: 5

[couch-potato]

I suggest you go back to school first of all...

Go for baby steps my friend. Start with a simple hello, slowly move on to small talk... don't worry if you look like an idiot, we all do at one point or the other... Learn how to treat women as friends, discover exactly what you can do to make them think, make them laugh, make them smile. Once the anxiety fades away you can set out to find some broad that you can bang. :thumbsup:

In all seriousness, the truth is that you have to step outside of your comfort zone and take a risk when the time comes. You are a human being just like everybody else. You laugh, cry, get pissed off, and get tired after a hard day's work. Don't get angry when you see couples - take a quiet, deep breath and tell yourself that one day you'll be walking about with a girl of your own.

Is there a sticker on your forehead that is preventing you from a relationship? Do you have an aura about you that repels women? The answer is fuck no. Begin your communication skills, learn to get your thoughts out clearly and people will understand your point. Sure, it may not work for the first few days (perhaps weeks) but that is completely OK. Build your confidence - get a haircut, buy some new shirts, lift some weights. Once you like yourself enough people will notice and will begin to like you for what you are.

What is so frightening about having a girlfriend? Do you fear change? If you are miserable as of now, then guess what buddy, it is time for change. Fuck anxiety man, stop worrying about petty things. Be happy, be relaxed, be yourself.

[The Supervisor]

First of all, society puts way to much emphasis on sex, it's fucking ridiculous. You're only 18. You have sooooooooo many years ahead of you for all of that. Trust me, coming from a girl, right now at this point in your life they are either:
a) a distraction or b) trouble

It's completely normal to want to be with someone. Just chill. Besides, if you start having sex with girls you are not married to you run a huge risk of disease or impregnation. Those are the last things you need to deal with right now. Just get through school, date if you like, but it should not be your main focus. After you are done with the school thing and are financially established then you can put more of your time and energy into a relationship. Trust me, you will be much happier.

[Mr Greenthumb]

I was in an irrational state of mind (a normal part one of my disorders) but i calmed down and got control of my thoughts again. Then i read your replies and guess what?

They made me feel much better about my situation. The two of you made some really good, valid points.

Thanx a bunch. I feel better now.

~ Thumb

[Trip06]

dude I understand what you going through. Like the post above, Buy yourself new shit, get fit, build confidence. Ive been doing just that and it has deffinetly been making me feel more positive. Sounds lame but yeah take baby steps, And If people give you shit forget them.

[cannabis campbell]

Sex is overrated lol

[420MissHighTimes420]

You don't need the validation of a girl or sex to make you feel good about yourself. Before you have a girlfriend you have to be good with who you are. You are the same guy with or without a girlfriend. So like trip said work on getting fit and feeling good about yourself. Once you do this than it will be time to look for girlfriend. If not there always prostitutes if all you want to do is get laid. Just kidding don't do that. Just chill and focus on what you can do to get a girlfriend. If you think possitive and do the things nessasary to get what you want, it will happen. Best wishes!

[jdub61]

yeah, you need to get back into school. college is girl heaven and will probably solve your problems. when you throw a large number of people together who don't know anything about one another but are keenly interested in learning everything there is to know about everything... sex happens.

i feel that once you hit college, if there's no physical (e.g., sexual) component then the relationship will not last (for example, long-range relationships work like 1% of the time). doesn't have to be full blown sex, but something...

i think the #1 thing that makes the actual asking out a girl successful is confidence. if you look average or better, come off as at least a little charming, and you're confident in yourself... there's no reason for the girl to turn you down. she probably wants to know more about you and she's just looking to have a good time. and just because you ask a girl out on a date doesn't mean yall are in a relationship, either.

[BlAzInIt4:20]

from reading what you wrote and seeing how you word your words, i think you try to hard, its so obvious that your desperate and people don't like that. Just be yourself and remember things will come just let time pass. I know you might be lonely and you feel as if you need that to be needed feeling, just remember u have family and friends(well i hope you do) and ur time will come when your love is bestowed upon you :thumbsup: