If a lot of people are wanting to get away from you, like you say, then you're probably acting wierd. Lay off the drugs for a while. Seriously. You are also showing some signs of schizophrenia. Trust me. When I was younger doing massive amounts of cannabis like 4 times a day (and some other "wierd" drugs like LSD, etc. on a weekly basis) I began showing signs of schizophrenia. I know what I'm talking about. Disorganized Thoughts and Speech is one sign (which is why so many people responded to this thread with "WTF", "shut up", and "stop being wierd"). I mean, that in and of itself isn't terrible. Some people sort of caught on and have been talking with you, so its not like you're insane or anything. But Megalomania is another sign (and it seems to me that you seem to imply most everyone you interact with is artificial or childish). I'm not saying your crazy. But you're showing some little signs or cues that would cause a psychiatrist some concern.

Seriously, lay off the drugs for a while. If you absolutely need them, try to keep it to at the *most* twice a week and only moderate alcohol or cannabis. Do not get "high out of your mind". Try to do without them at all for a while if you can. Schizophrenia can be triggered by heavy use of hallucinogenic or stimulant drugs. (1) Also, there is evidence that cannabis use can contribute to schizophrenia. (2) (just two of the many scientific studies showing this are listed below, with their journal names in case anyone wants to look them up)

Before people flame me, please understand that I'm not saying cannabis, even heavy use, always leads to mental problems or even most of the time. But there are individuals who are susceptible to certain types of mental problems from drug use, especially frequent or heavy use. I personally came down with some pretty intense paranoid delusions and delusions of grandeur when I was younger. They effected me in major ways socially. I had to lay off drugs and alcohol for a year before I began thinking and acting normally again.

I thank God almost daily now that eventually I was able to see how sick I was. You may see from some of my other posts here that I'm a Christian. But I'm not saying these things to "scare you away from Buddism" or whatever spiritual path you're travelling right now. If you're starting to understand Buddism, then great! I'm happy for you. But seriously... as a friend and one whose been where you are I'm telling you, seriously, you need to lay off the drugs. They can do very bad things to you.

I'm not saying you're nearly as sick as I was, or even sick at all. But you asked for help. That is all I'm trying to do. I highly suggest you lay off drugs for a while. I am convinced that will help you learn, as you say, "how to interact with people."

1. Mueser KT, Yarnold PR, Levinson DF, et al (1990). Prevalence of substance abuse in schizophrenia: demographic and clinical correlates. Schizophrenic Bulletin, 16(1), 31â??56. PMID 2333480

2. Arseneault L, Cannon M, Witton J, Murray RM (2004). Causal association between cannabis and psychosis: examination of the evidence. British Journal of Psychiatry, 184, 110-7. PMID 14754822 Full text



Quote Originally Posted by Inferius
This body I inhabit got drunk and high and some other wierd thing last night, and I had a huge spiritual awakening....
[...]
... Dispassion allows me to see with clarity, but now that I do, I find my rational mind is awakened in the fear of seeing the illusions of others, but not knowing how to interact and possibly shed some light on the situation without indulging in the dance of egos. I find that the longer a person stays in my prescence, the quicker they want to get away. In their minds, they fill my head with their own sobbing child, and in my eyes see only the pain in themselves. They want to get away. Tonight I did absolutely nothing, I ate dinner quietly and observed, I did my best to dispel all fears and desires, and watching the situation I saw so much pain, so much artificiality or childishness of emotional immaturity. I wasn't trying to find fault with them, but maybe thats exactly what I was really doing. Still, if nothing is any more important than anything else, how the fuck do I interact with people? After not projecting on them, how do I???????