The Cheeseburger Conspiracy

[ericwt]

Some people here might think that I am anti American. That is not true I love my country and it breaks my heart to see what it is becoming.

First a disclaimer the truth will piss you off and there is nothing you can do about all of this. I am leaving the USA and I advise all other people to do the same. This cheeseburger shit is at the core of everything.

I realized the truth in its entirety today. I ironically noticed this the first time when I was a kid. But the depth of what happened did not occur to me until today.

Please understand the core of me is a Capitalist. I will always be a Capitalist as well as a budding super villain. But the point of this is to explain that in my version of Capitalism you give the customer what they want. I have narrowed down when the Cheeseburger plot happened and will tell you when it happened soon.

But lets reflect back to days when the "Politically Correct" way was not around. When my dad whipped me there we no abuse hotlines for me to call saying "my daddy gave me a spanking!"

When did this happen?

Near as I can tell it had to be toward the last of the Ford Administration. It was probably started before that by Nixon and it took a while to trickle down to the masses. But I was to young to remember that. I was born in 1966.

But I remember a day when you could go to McDonalds and order a quarter ponder. They would ask you if you wanted cheese on it. You had a choice and a quarter ponder was actually cheaper that one with cheese on it.

What I am saying is you had a choice back then. Both the quarter ponder and the quarter ponder with cheese were on the menu.

Somewhere right as Carter was being sworn in as President everything changed. Suddenly without notice or explanation the menu changed and you were not given a choice. O sure you could bitch and request one without cheese but it would take longer and you were still charged the same amount of a quarter ponder with cheese.

No one but me noticed this when it happened. But alas, I was just a kid and did not know any better.

When this happened the corporate powers that be figured out that if McD could shove there preprocessed American Cheese down the stomachs of America, they too could get away with giving the American people crappy products and horrible customer service. They were right we lined up like cattle to be spoon Fed the corporate crap they so generously threw at us. We would be good little drones and take what they were willing to give us.

Soon after that Sam Walton opened up his first store. Couincidence? Ha! I think not!

I took me until today to figure out this plot. I had to order a quarter ponder WITHOUT cheese to some foreign guy who did not understand me. He gave me the dam thing with cheese on it! It pissed me off! I had to scrape the shit off, and it STILL TASTED LIKE SHIT!

But alas, I am wise to them and now you are to.

I know my life is in danger now but at least I shared what I knew with you before the Mc Syndicate gets me.

Enjoy your meal!

ericwt Reviewed by ericwt on 05-24-2007. The Cheeseburger Conspiracy Some people here might think that I am anti American. That is not true I love my country and it breaks my heart to see what it is becoming. First a disclaimer the truth will piss you off and there is nothing you can do about all of this. I am leaving the USA and I advise all other people to do the same. This cheeseburger shit is at the core of everything. I realized the truth in its entirety today. I ironically noticed this the first time when I was a kid. But the depth of what happened Rating: 5

[TheAtomicPunk]

...I don't eat McDonald's anyways. I feel I've completely missed the point of this though... *Unsatisfied*

[4gan2ja0]

samwhore wont be pleased, she loves cheezeburgerz

[Matt the Funk]

I couldn't tell if you were serious or not....I sensed a lot of sarcams, but some seriousness....

[fishman3811]

MCdick is everywhere dude you cant escape the quarter pounder with cheese

[40oz]

thats the kind of psychotic conspiracy theory shit that should be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.

[Turtlepik]

Who the fuck doesn't like cheese?

[B.Basher]

Yeah, what you sayin' bout cheese bruv?

I'm a little lost though. I was waiting for the cheeseburger conspiracy to manifest itself as a metaphor for some socio-political criticism. In the end... uhh... well I guess you could always try another restaurant that does... you know... that does cheeseburgers without cheese for a cheaper price.

Man, i'm confused.

[ericwt]

In the end this little rant was about the corporate powers taking away our choices and telling us what we want as opposed to asking us what we want.

I rarely eat at McD's, maybe once a year. After my last experience I will no longer go there. It was not my first choice but I was in a hurry.

This is not a rant about cheeseburgers. I support anyone's right to like cheeseburgers. I like them myself if they are with Cheddar cheese and not fake American cheese.

The point is they stopped caring about what you want.

Is this post serious or sarcastic or simply paranoid? Yes.

Perhaps it was the poisons of that revolting quarter ponder going into my bloodstream (and arteries) that cased this post.

Maybe I was saying you can find conspiracy anywhere if you look for it. Naw, that couldn't be.

But it is a sad world when others decide for us what we want to choose.

[Nocturnal Stoner]

Eric is your avatar from human traffic?