Quote Originally Posted by expirator
Thank you for your bravery, standing up for social anxious people everywhere, including me. I just was about to kill myself tonight, but marijuana saved my life.
I'm really glad you stuck with it man. I've definitely been there, so close to just ending it all due to this awful disorder. Being able to socialize with others seems such a necessary part of life, and when you struggle so much with something that seems to come so naturally to others, yet seems out of your control, I know that I wonder what the point of sticking around is. Social anxiety makes you feel self-conscious 24-7 and causes you to underestimate yourself in everything you do. I'm sure this is not news to any of you. But for anyone else that's feeling like they want to give up, please know that social anxiety does not have to be a permanent problem! I definitely am not fully over my social anxiety at all, but I have so much hope now looking back at all of the process I've made just through talking to a therapist over the past year. It's definitely improved my conversation skills and helped me to see my negative thoughts from a different perspective. I still think so irrationally but at least I recognize when I do. One thing I don't feel like I have in common with a lot of others is that I feel like smoking bud intensifies my social anxiety. I still love smoking by myself, but anytime I'm around others, even my boyfriend who is one of the few people I feel completely comfortable around, I find myself feeling far more anxious. Maybe this is because I started smoking weed at a young age and as I've gotten older and my social anxiety has worsened, smoking weed and drinking alcohol, I find cause me to feel far more awkward and unable to think of things to say in social situations. Anyways, I want to thank all of you. It feels so good to know that when I feel so isolated, I don't need to, knowing I'm not alone in this. To all of you dealing with social anxiety and depression, keep on truckin'...we'll get through this. Much love.:hippy:
Also...I may start on some sort of anxiety and antidepressant medication this week. It's taken me almost 2 years to come to this decision, only because when I become depressed due to my anxiety amongst other things, I find it nearly impossible to pull myself out of it without help. I become a completely different person and I cannot stand that person. That person is uptight and irrational, and it's not me at all. I'm hoping that with the help of a very low dose of some sort of antidepressant, I will be able to control my irrational thoughts and turn them into thoughts that are a little more rational. I also hope that I will not turn into this anti-social, depressed, and uptight person for days at a time. I feel like I'm closer along the path to discovering who I really am...I hope the meds help, and I hope I can enjoy smoking again when I'm finished with this experience.