I want to start off by saying this is not a marijuana-related question, but rather a question regarding my mental state.

When I was 13 I started to have ptsd-related panic attacks. At the time, I had no knowledge of ptsd or panic attacks, or any sort of mental disorders, because previously I had been fine. So, my panic attacks scared the shit out of me, which caused me to fall into a deep, deep depression, because I'd have multiple intense panic attacks a day, and I didn't know what was causing them, how to make them to stop, or what was happening.

After going to many therapists and doctors it was obvious I needed to be put on some sort of medication. I was initially put on Paxil CR at the lowest dosage. After a few weeks of gradually subsiding panic attacks, the feeling of the panic (in your stomach) and being worried, etc... all went away, but I was displaying physical symptoms of panic, such as shaking, and my body acting as if I was scared, even though I didn't feel like it. So, the doctor told me that this was normal, and they just needed to fix the dose. Well, they kept increasing it, and I became accustomed to the minor shaking and jitterness. I am now 17 and on non-controlled-release Paxil 40MG. I have been on this same medication for a few years ago.

Well, I never got panic attacks since then. In fact, I became quite numb to everything. My father died of cancer a few weeks before I turned 15. Being on Paxil never let me grieve properly, as it mainly just kept it out of my mind. When I think about it to this day, I can still break down, just like when I first heard the news.

Anyway, I'm a daily marijuana smoker. It helps me mellow out and calm down, which helps me more than you can imagine. But, for almost a year now, my mom's verbally and sometimes physically abusive boyfriend has been living with us. When she tried to get him evicted after THIS: http://boards.cannabis.com/experienc...xperience.html happened, he blackmailed her, so for now, he's still here. By the way, the link I provided is my friends account of what happened. I'm the buddy he's talking about.

They are always screaming and fighting, and since the cops came and I had to destroy the only things that I loved, I've been constantly anxious. I just can't relax, because when I do, I fear the same thing will happen. I think I've developed PTSD about last weekend. Because I'll be in my room, smoking, listening to music, and then I'll hear them scream and shout, and, I get that same extremely paranoid feeling, about losing everything I have, etc...

On with the purpose of this post. Someone gave me a 10MG valium, for free. I had only had experience in the past with powerful stimulants (which after doing many times, i've never had an urge to do them again, and generally dislike), and opiates. After looking up information on it, to make sure I wouldn't die, from an interaction with paxil, and learning about what it would do, I decided it would be perfect for me, because at the time they were fighting, my mom was crying, he was slamming doors, and i was a nervous reck, when i stood up my stomach would feel all nervous, and i'd be all shaky. So, I took the valium.

I didn't take it to get "high", I took it for it's purpose. In fact, I experienced no high-like effects, other than feeling perfectly relaxed and content. It was a miracle pill. An hour before I was scared to be in my own house, and a nervous reck, and an hour later, I was in the same situation, but perfectly content and relaxed, and able to focus and clear my mind.

So, I plan on going to the doctor, and explaining the situation. Is it possible they will prescribe me valium? I am 17 1/2. I have no connection to get valium on the black market, and don't intend on abusing these pills, but given my home-situation, I feel as if they would benefit me greatly.

I also plan on getting off of Paxil. I think valium will help me get off paxil as well, since i've heard getting of paxil is complete hell.

Please tell me what I should say to my doctor. If I tell her my story about how valium made me feel normal and fine for the first time in years, will she think I'm just going to sell them or abuse them, or something?

Also, all my problems are anxiety related. My initial anxiety is what caused me to become depressed. I am no longer depressed, when I can be relaxed and calm. It's just all the stress and everything. So, hopefully she won't put me on another anti-depressant because I don't want them. Valium seems to be what I need.

What other medications could she possibly suggest given my symptoms of anxiety. I have anxiety in almost every aspect of my life, except for when I'm home in a safe environment, but lately it hasn't been safe, so I need valium. If I tell the doctor "I need valium" will she take me seriously? I'm not sure how often valium is prescribed, or what ever. Please give me your help and advice.

Peace,
horror business :rasta:
horror business Reviewed by horror business on . Please Help Me. (kind of long) I want to start off by saying this is not a marijuana-related question, but rather a question regarding my mental state. When I was 13 I started to have ptsd-related panic attacks. At the time, I had no knowledge of ptsd or panic attacks, or any sort of mental disorders, because previously I had been fine. So, my panic attacks scared the shit out of me, which caused me to fall into a deep, deep depression, because I'd have multiple intense panic attacks a day, and I didn't know what was Rating: 5