Ok....make a list...no, make a bunch of them.

1. What do you want to do with yourself in the near future....what do you want to accomplish and what kind of things do you want to do to have fun. Nothing like .....some day I'll be president......(we can't all be Skink) but realistic goals for the next year or two.

2. What do you want and expect from your father? This is not a list that you have to show him, this is a list for you so anything's fair.

3. What do you think your father wants and expects from you? You might even think about asking him that question (and not like...."well what the fuck do you want from me anyway?") but you don't have to....that part is up to you.

I'd start there. This will hopefully give you somewhere to begin figuring out how to solve some of these issues you're having. . In writing them down and rereading them you may see things a little differently.....the same way you did when you reread your own post. Some of what you have written
may strike you as unrealistic....(we all live happily ever after....) but also may give you some tools and ideas to accomplish what you want to do.

Good luck and feel free to dump this post if you think it's stupid....I won't be offended.