the user's guide to males....

[Blondasian]

Ok so what exactly do you do when Boyfriend 5.0 is emulating Husband 1.0 and wants to get married??

Humm.. He walks in the door removes all his clothes and hops on the couch, snuggling closely with remote and laptop.. Insisting he loves my cooking.. Please cook sweety..

Well Girlfriend 8.0 is feeling way too domestic at the moment. Damn my plants need to flower already!!

[slipknotpsycho]

hmm.... i just remembered something else...

women always seem to want us involved and liking what htey like, yet when it comes to us.. .well.. "sports are stupid" (personally i share that opinion i don't like 'em) or "why do you waste all your time on that game?" :wtf:

let's see, cuz i have no desire to stare at you or the wall all day doing nothing and i'm bored... lol

we want you involved in what we like as well, since we have to pretend to be what you're into, you could atleast extend that curtousey to us as well...

[halfassedjediknight]

"..insert guinness, steak, 2 joints, and an xbox to properly operate this male.."

[TallulahGreen]

putting the toilet seat down is going to be the cause of my future divorce, i can see it now. i never put the toilet seat down. and im one stubborn mother-fucker. why on gods green earth should a guy have to put the toliet seat down? why cant the girl just look at the damn thing before plopping her ass down on it??

maybe i'll just have a urinal put in when i get married....thta way on my 50th wedding anniversary i can give a toast and say thta the urinal saved my marriage.

For me it's mostly because I don't want the dog to drink out of the toilet.

Do you know how not fun it is to have a dog with a wet face come rub it all over you and know that it's toilet water?

Especially when you KNOW that your boyfriend flushes the toilet while he is still peeing....so I know for a fact there is still piss residue in the toilet.

I don't even get mad anymore..I just politely put the toilet seat back down...

..in a very OBVIOUS manner.:hippy::hippy::hippy:

[halfassedjediknight]

For me it's mostly because I don't want the dog to drink out of the toilet.

Do you know how not fun it is to have a dog with a wet face come rub it all over you and know that it's toilet water?

Especially when you KNOW that your boyfriend flushes the toilet while he is still peeing....so I know for a fact there is still piss residue in the toilet.

I don't even get mad anymore..I just politely put the toilet seat back down...

..in a very OBVIOUS manner.:hippy::hippy::hippy:

why does he flush as hes peeing? thats kinda weird. does he not pee everywhere?

[slipknotpsycho]

.... i know plenty of people who flush while still pissing... i don't understand it personally..


however, i can use no hands and and piss and not miss one drop...

lol, get me drunk tho (like really drunk, not just buzzed or intoxicated) and i could be pissing on hte all for 10 seconds before i even notice (and it's happened)

[TallulahGreen]

.

lol, get me drunk tho (like really drunk, not just buzzed or intoxicated) and i could be pissing on hte all for 10 seconds before i even notice (and it's happened)

........and thus the reason why there are so many handprints on the wall behind the toilet.

[Psycho4Bud]

........and thus the reason why there are so many handprints on the wall behind the toilet.

LOL....if we didn't do that there'd be piss all over the place! Glad I'm past them days. It's hell when ya look down and the toilet is moving on ya.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[stinkyattic]

It's hell when ya look down and the toilet is moving on ya.:

Hm... that was the toilet at my old apartment... it moved when I was drunk... and it still moved in the morning. That's what you get for your $700 a month in a college town! Plumbing with a life of its own... :wtf:

[Fengzi]

hey do you wanna give me a blowjob doesnt always go over well with her though

^^ It works just fine at my house haha. I mean how would I know if he doesn't ask? m in no mood for guessing games. And im the same way with him.

How would you know if he wants a blow job? Simple. He does. Always. It's like asking someone if they want oxygen.

Just don't assume the same thing about a strap-on in the ass though.