the user's guide to males....

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I don't like it when my boyfriend has more drama then I do.

I also don't like it when he compares his life to mine while I'm upset or crying. I.E "Well baby, atleast you don't_______". It's ME time right now, sorry honey.

Ya dig?

[Ganj]

ok c'mon guys, chip in here... we're trying to get a compiled list of actual 'rules' for operating us males :wtf: try to keep the comedy out of it, i want this serious.... (females could do the same if htey like)

one sex always seems to have problems understanding the other, so lets get a guide going... can be rules, input, anything... just to help the opposite understand us better.... what we need, what we want, what we mean... but like i said, keep the comedy to a minimum... (also note, it may not apply to every guy, but try to keep the postings to the general population of males..i.e. the majority share this trait)


i'll start.... deep down we do need the closeness, but nearly from birth we're conditioned to be non-feeling machines... the tact you apply needs to somehow coincide with both.... don't make it seem like we need you, rather, you need us... push for the closeness, but not to apoint of aggervation, and keep comments like "how come you never wanna be close" out, cuz i garuntee most of the time that leads to a fight, again, we were conditioned to need nothing but ourselves.... we can't actually answer that question without going against everything we know... we need you as much as you need us, we just aren't able to show it as easily. we may be the main pillar of strength in relationships, but we are still just as needy and vulnerable as you...

And the point of aggravation is right about the same time you wont shut your mouth. Women. Learn to shut up.

[Ganj]

ALSO WE DON'T LIKE WHEN YOU BUST IN OUR MOUTHS WITH OUT WARNING! AND THEN REFUSE TO KISS US AFTERWARDS!

[align=left]I just pictured busting my nut in your mouth and kissing you afterwards. Why hasn't someone done a "word theory" about provocative terms in misshightimes post? Here is my hypothesis: If you say sexual things I am going to get a boner. That is good too! Sexy talk in bed! I want my girl to talk dirty to me and make me believe she really wants it and isn't just being a selfless vessel for my member. But if she wants to be, then that is OK too. Be sure to make it believable though, ladies. We all know acting is second-nature to women :thumbsup:.

We love being asked questions so we can tell you how we feel.

Of course! Ask questions! I would have never thought of that.
[/align]

[slowlickitysplit]

Women, read a book on logic!
"Becasue I don't FEEL its right" is not something we can work with. It's a conversation ender.

Also.....Can we fight about one thing at a time? Maybe our minds are too small but for gods sake....lets clear up this issue before we move on to the other 55,897 other issues you feel I am wrong about.

- Slow -

[slipknotpsycho]

Women, read a book on logic!
"Becasue I don't FEEL its right" is not something we can work with. It's a conversation ender.

Also.....Can we fight about one thing at a time? Maybe our minds are too small but for gods sake....lets clear up this issue before we move on to the other 55,897 other issues you feel I am wrong about.

- Slow -

LMFAO!!!!! hey slow, i got a website you might enjoy reading... Things my girlfriend and I have argued about

[russ-bob]

-Most men like pie...any sort but homemade is the best.

-When we go fishing or go to work on the car that usaly means dont bother me.

-A home cooked meal after a long day at work is the fastest way to a mans heart.

[yoda]

- I don't want to hear about previous boyfriends
- Don't complain about your appearance. If we despised it, we wouldn't date you.
- Don't include other guys in our inside jokes
- Don't come to us with girlish situations and expect us to give you girlish answers
- LOVE US FOR WHO WE ARE, NOT WHAT YOU THINK WE CAN BE(for a certain ex)

[rebgirl420]

Heres the most important one yet: Don't beat around the freakin' bush! Just be honest and ask her what she wants. I'm sick and tired of all these guys saying they don't know what a girl wants. ASK HER!!!! It's the only way you'll be a 100 percent sure!!!!!!

[babystarbud]

found this on the net and coudnt resist posting it, so true lol...

its a tech support advise on man problems lol

Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.

Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!

Sincerely,

XXX



Dear XXX:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3.

I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!

Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C: I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot accept new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

[Nightcrewman]

Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420
ALSO WE DON'T LIKE WHEN YOU BUST IN OUR MOUTHS WITH OUT WARNING! AND THEN REFUSE TO KISS US AFTERWARDS!


I promise I wont come in your mouth must be one of the most broken promises ever !!

Cheers
NCM