Quote Originally Posted by lil josh
i dont know my dad, no contact nothing, never had a birthday card of him but fuck it...if i saw the prick i would stamp on his head 32 times for every xmas and bday hes missed.
i gotta give you the benifit of the doubt you only wanna stomp his head 32 times for missing those days for the family matter and not the presents...

but your post reminded me of a certain small group of people, and hteir main quarral with having a missing parent is "missing presents" their argument is usually the same "i never saw birthday presents from him, he's never sent me christmas money" and i sit there dumbfounded... like WTF?!

the last thing on my mind when it comes to my father is presents and money.. (he actually sent me a 100 bucks recently, and i told my grandma to keep it cuz i didn't want his money, and i still don't... he's trying to BUY his way back in my life and i don't fucking think so...) but some people, seem to only care about the missing material possessions...

if i could go back in time, knowing what i know now, i'd gladly give up every last present or money i got from my grandparents, just to have a decent dad in my life..... the emotional pain is much worse...

as surrey said.... "you seem to always carry this burden that you arent worthy of being wanted...." and that is hell.... pure undeniable hell....

i'll be honest, i'm not emotionally, financially, or mentally ready to be a parent... but i have no choice now... i will not let my son suffer cuz i 'screwed up' (don't get me wrong, i love him more than anything... but if i hadn't pulled the whole 'it feels better' thing, we wouldn't be struggling, i always wanted kids, but neither of us was quite ready yet) but anyways, it's not his fault he's here, he didn't have to be, so it's time for me to step up... and nothing will seperate us.. i will be a part of his life, no matter what it takes, i will be the one to raise him, and won't let him suffer the same thought process i had for years upon years, wondering why my parent(s) didn't want me....