My dad was an cheating, lying, thieving, adultering, chickenshit machine-like person, focussed only on money, respect and influence. If he couldn't use you, he wouldn't so much as give you the time of day, but if he could, he'd kiss your ass raw. He was only there to support his family when it served him, made him look like a good father or a good husband, which he wasn't. He only physically abused my mother once - other than that, it was all psychological. I've spent the past six years rebuilding my mind from the fragile specimen he left me - regaining the traits of generosity, acceptance, trust, self-confidence, pride, and forgiveness - forgiveness for everyone except for him. Maybe it's a setback for me, but I want him to suffer as long as I have because of him.

We found out last year (five years after my parents separated) that he suffered from depression from an early age, and he's passed this genetic booby-trap on to both of his kids. He never told my mother this, and for over twenty years she suffered for it, always thinking that it was her fault that he wasn't happy, always trying to do more, and never able to do enough. She's the worst off from the experience. I know that his dad wasn't the greatest guy either, but he could have seen that and changed. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions, he denies that he did anything wrong to his family, that he ever cheated on my mother (which we know he did), that he was a terrible neglecting father.

For years he played my sister with gifts, trips, and all sorts of special treatment while I got nothing. I can remember going to visit once, and he asked me if I had seen my sister's new convertible. If I hadn't been told ahead of time that he'd bought it for her, I would have tried my hardest to kick his ass. The dumb thing is, later on he changed his mind and took it back. Good job dad, alienate both your kids.

Any gifts or money he gave me I gave to friends or charities. Any cards he sent have been thrown in the garbage. I don't want to remember him, and I don't want to start a father-son relationship with him - I'd say rebuild, but you can't rebuild something you never had. If he could even just take a second and apologize, admit that he was wrong, that he treated us like shit, I could probably forgive him. But he can't apologize - he has too much stubborn pride.


Also he had a thing for augmented breasts, asking my mum to get some, and later buying a pair for a (now ex-) girlfriend (worth probably ten times more money than he's spent on me since the separation). If you can't appreciate natural breasts, I don't want anything to do with you. :wtf: