My mom and my dad split before I turned 3, I have only fleeting images of him in my memory. It never used to bother me until one day in high school a girlfriend of mine made some teasing comment which made me realize I didn't remember what he was like or what his voice sounded like. Then, for whatever reason, it bothered me. A lot. I can't explain it.

Anyway, he's never made an attempt to contact me or my younger sister, but I found out several years ago that it was due to my mother telling him to stay away. She went through a lot raising my sister and I alone for a number of years, then remarried to a doctor who had wanderlust. My sister and I maxed out 2 passports each before we were 15, and lived abroad for a long time. He was never really present for family life though, caring more about scuba diving than anything else. Eventually they split, and my mom and sis and I moved back to the States. Couple of years later, my mother married a third time to the man I refer to as my dad, although technically he's my step-dad. He's a good guy, taught me all kinds of things I missed out on when I was younger (hunting, fishing, woodsmanship) and even though he and my mom now have a rocky relationship, he's always been upfront and honest with me, but hard enough to ensure I didn't end up being a pussy. While he never adopted me and even made a few comments long ago (in jest or not, no idea) that he never would - he's treated me as his own, helped me with college, and even went so far as to name me in his families estate, also giving me an inheritance from his father passing.

I feel guilty getting my emotions riled up over some of this now that I'm typing it out. Some of the other replies to this thread have given me pangs in my gut, and I'm surprised I held onto the idea of sharing when clearly I need to stfu.