It's time to take a break. Your teens are the hardest part of your life -until you hit old age, anyway. Hormones work like drugs at times. You get highs and lows just from what your body is doing to you. I'm guessing you're at a low.

I imagine your grades may be shaky. Kids with high grades seldom have your kind of self esteem problems. Try to bring your GPA up. Hit the books for a while.

And how's your diet? It can affect how you feel (and look- a good diet fights zits). Try to eat more fruits and veggies (raw when possible) and get some vitamins. It won't hurt you to take care of yourself.

You mention feeling paranoid when getting high with friends. My first question would be about the quality of your friends. Who are you hanging with? Regular kids? Junior speed freaks? Boozers and pill poppers? "Pure" potheads? You may have reason to be paranoid, or you may not. You just may need new friends! Sometimes pot lets you see things more clearly about a person. But since I don't know your friends, I can't say.

So yeah, it is, at least in part, "just puberty". And it looks like pot is magnifying the effects. So it's time to take a break. Six months from now things could be totally different. You need a little time just being sober. You'll know when it's time to try it again.

Things around you likely aren't going too well- you talk about low self esteem. There is a cure for it. You need "to do for others", to use an old phrase. Low self esteem means you feel like you're just taking up space, without worth or meaning. (been there )

The cure is to help others. When you are making a positive difference in the world, how can you feel bad about who you are? Volunteer at a food bank, a low income day care, humane society, library, or a political party; become an activist for a worthy cause, pick up and recycle cans and give the money to a cause, find out the name of a marijuana prisoner and write them (letters = sanity)... Find something that is wrong and fix it, or make it better. "As we create the world, we create ourselves."" Don't know where I read that, but it's true. If you work to create a better world, you create a better you.

Granny:hippy:


ps- I work in special education and a free after-school day care. My prisoner is Randy Brush- soon to be released.