looking for advice, please...

[bucknuts1870]

Fool around with her best friend.

[passitplz]

Fool around with her best friend.

lmao fucked up but it will work

[Jimbob1310]

wow thanks for all the help, ill defanitly take this into consideration. after a long night last night ive cried away most of those feelings and and feeling much better so thanks

[birdgirl73]

Birdgirl, you, like many others, have linked casual sex to low self-esteem, which simply isn't always the case. It's a double standard, really; if a guy has casual sex it's fine and he's on top of the world, but if a girl does she thinks of herself as shit, right?

You might want to look more closely at the original thread, Cannabis=Freedom, because you're the one who made that assumption, not me. Jimbo's not out having casual sex. At least not that he mentioned. In the story he related to us, the girl is. I'm afraid you put your own double standard on that, my friend.

If Jimbo had said he was out getting his jollies plowing as many girls as he could--or simply racking up serial BJs--I'd have said the same thing to him. Folks of either gender who're looking for validation from emotionally unconnected sex with people they don't know frequently have issues. Talk to anyone who works with people with sex addictions and you'll find this out, too, although I'm convinced the behavior doesn't have to have deteriorated to the point of sex addiction before it reflects less-than-ideal esteem. Guys may not think this is the case because there are an awful lot of guys out there who think they're supposed to behave in this fashion, but it's equally true for them, too. The distorted thinking is that they can bolster their masculinity with conquests. It's the same sort of thought pattern that motivates behavior in which someone tries to fulfill some internal need with external "stuff" like cars or clothes. In the end it doesn't work, and the compulsion to keep buying stuff or nailing strange women just continues infinitely because the intrinsic validation isn't occurring.

So in case I wasn't clear enough, it's very much a two-way street. There will be some macho, nail-as-many-as-you-can-get types who'll argue this. But I don't buy it at all. Neither does anyone with a brain or basic insight into psychology.

[DR_CANNABIS]

god dude you dont even know.... i am pretty much in the exact same situation as you, im 16, in the tenth grade. and my best friend who is female, a good looking one at that, have had experiences like that, the difference is, she has a bf, has had the same one and she comes over sometimes and we end up doing "stuff" weve never actually had sex, but pretty much everything else. this has been going on for about 5 months now... and for the first few i felt the same way as you, but then i just realized that i was her best friend that just so happen to be somewhat of a booty call.... but im not complaining.

[Jimbob1310]

well im actually on the phone with her now, and she just conviently cleared up the fact that she still does still like me and dosnt just fall for other guys. =\

well i guess thats good to hear

[cannabis=freedom]

You might want to look more closely at the original thread, Cannabis=Freedom, because you're the one who made that assumption, not me. Jimbo's not out having casual sex. At least not that he mentioned. In the story he related to us, the girl is. I'm afraid you put your own double standard on that, my friend.

If Jimbo had said he was out getting his jollies plowing as many girls as he could--or simply racking up serial BJs--I'd have said the same thing to him. Folks of either gender who're looking for validation from emotionally unconnected sex with people they don't know frequently have issues. Talk to anyone who works with people with sex addictions and you'll find this out, too, although I'm convinced the behavior doesn't have to have deteriorated to the point of sex addiction before it reflects less-than-ideal esteem. Guys may not think this is the case because there are an awful lot of guys out there who think they're supposed to behave in this fashion, but it's equally true for them, too. The distorted thinking is that they can bolster their masculinity with conquests. It's the same sort of thought pattern that motivates behavior in which someone tries to fulfill some internal need with external "stuff" like cars or clothes. In the end it doesn't work, and the compulsion to keep buying stuff or nailing strange women just continues infinitely because the intrinsic validation isn't occurring.

So in case I wasn't clear enough, it's very much a two-way street. There will be some macho, nail-as-many-as-you-can-get types who'll argue this. But I don't buy it at all. Neither does anyone with a brain or basic insight into psychology.

I absolutely agree with everything you said. I was unaware that you were referring to people of both genders, and I thought you were only referring to women. Thanks for clearing that up.