Nah don't apologize birdgirl, it's all about pain so it's all relavent. This thread was for anybody to discuss their feelings on the matter. I really hope your surgery goes well for you, it'll be nice to feel a lot more normal again. I know it's been said, but make sure you let us know how it goes! And good luck.

I also suffer from Fibromyalgia, as a matter of fact that was my first diagnosis before finding out about the arthritis. It is truly painful and sometimes debilitating. And you are right, a lot of doctors will not recoginize it as a condition, as they would rather say it is all in your head. I know what I feel and I know that if my mind had control over it, I would feel a hell of a lot better than I do.
Yeah, I can't believe there are still doctors who don't believe people about Fibromyalgia. Besides, there are still many types of pain that we can't test for, and most likely many causes we have yet to understand. There's one disease I read about that causes intense pain in the head and face, so bad that it has a higher suicide rate than any other chronic-pain condition (I'm glad I don't have that). They don't even have a method for looking at soft-tissue damage either!
I don't know what causes fibromyalgia (of course), but considering that fatique and cloudy thinking tend to come with it, there are obviously consistent symptoms to this disease that's supposedly "all in your head". Again, it baffles me that they can't believe pain nerves could fire of their own accord because of a disorder in the brain.

Although, do you now know that it's not fibro and just arthritis, or do you have both? Either way, I'm sorry you have to deal with that man. There's this muscle-rub cream called "Lackota" that's supposedly from an old native american remedie, but it's supposed to work pretty well for muscle pain anywhere. I haven't tried it myself, but I think I will soon and maybe you should too.
Hot baths after an ice-pack treatment are good too, that way you can get both the inflammation and the muscle tension that comes with it.
Also try some chewable Vitamin-C at a dose of 3-8 grams a day. Experiment with doses to see what you get results from. Don't worry, the dosage has to be well into the hundreds (of grams) before it gets toxic or harmful in any way. You'll want to throw in some vitamin-E too to help with the absorbtion and staying-power of the C.
And lastly, excessive consumption of meat and refined sugars can aggrivate inflamation, so watch those. You don't need to cut them out, just don't eat a lot.