Well... Take this however you wish, make your judgements, I don't care anymore.

I killed all but one plant. 14. I don't know. I just felt... the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. I can complain and give all the reasons, but it isn't going to change the fact that I gave up. I'm only 16 and this isn't what I want to be doing with my life anyway. I spent practically an entire year on these boards studying growing, and when I finally have all the knoledge I need, I end it. In a way, it was a positive thing, in the sense that it helped me "let go". I guess this is a major spiritual thing in my life right now, and this descision was only one of many.

I have one baby left. If she lives, she lives, if she grows balls, she grows balls. Sexual orientation means less and less to me anyhow.

I also... Shaved my head. And my eyebrows. I look very much like the scary man in Lost Highway. But it's not about comparisons anymore. I want total spiritual peace, and I'm willing to give up all self-ego-image.

Ganja helped me see the light, and I will never "quit" weed,
but I don't think i'm going to make it such a priority anymore.
I don't identify with any "stoner" culture, I don't have any real friends,
and... I find less and less about "normal" life appealing.

I want happyness.

I'm sick of the artificiality of this bullshit.

Maybe I'll travel to some kind of commune...