Routine makes a huge difference for kids. That alone probably didn't cause the fears you had. My guess would be that the trauma and craziness played a bigger role in creating the irrational fears in your everyday life but that the absence of steadiness and predictability kept you from getting the reassurance you needed to offset the normal fears. The two worked together.

Some of the predictability factor is why it never hurts for new parents to be a little older and more educated before they have their families. If they've finished school and have gotten through the wild days of youth, they're generally better equipped to settle down and provide a steady routine for kids. Their wild oats have already been sewn, so to speak, so it's easier for them to settle down and raise kids through the formative years and endure that drudgery. Don't get me wrong. Kids are amazingly resilient. They can overcome plenty of bumps in the road. But they definitely benefit from steadiness and continuity. It gives them a steady emotional foundation. Emotionally steady parents help a lot with that, too.