*ring ring*
me: Hello mom
her: Hello dear
me: what's up?
her: Did you know that [insert name of one of my high school friends here] was just awarded a PhD?
me: No......
her: It made me think about how you really should do something with your life.
me: I AM doing something with my life.
her: No no I mean go back to grad school, you know, since you don't have a FAMILY yet...
me: What are you saying?
her: Well you know it's much harder to go back to school once you have children
me: Ummmm so if I get pregnant tomorrow will you stop pestering me about this?
her: That's not funny.
me: I didn't think so either. It wasn't a joke.
her: I think we should change the subject.
me: Fine. You brought it up. What do you want to talk about?
her: Do you want to come and go for walks with me before work? I think we BOTH need the exercise.
me: (holds cell phone out window of moving car) MOM! I THINK MY RECEPTION IS GETTING REALLY BAD I'M ABOUT TO LOSE YOU!
*beep*