That really makes me feel bad you're stuck in such an awful situation BFA. Nobody has all the answers, but there are a few things to consider IMO. First off, considering his excessive degree of paranoia, mood swings, and distrust of you, there may be a good chance he's sampling the crack he cooks to supposedly sell. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he was just cooking it for him and his buddies.

Secondly, I think you'll have to acknowledge that you have a (somewhat) mentally ill person on your hands. Mental illness isn't always about being batshit crazy and totally illogical, sometimes it can manifest itself as just what you described; paranoia, mood swings, eratic behavior etc. Doing all the drugs he is, and all the alcohol he consumes, his seratonin receptors are being bombarded into a decensitized mess and his constant triggering of dopamine (mostly from the drugs) is going to make him dependant on substances just to stay emotionally sane....even when they don't make him as such.

Be prepared for the inevitable, and don't fool yourself into believing everything's going to be OK from whatever point on if he doesn't change his habbits. He's going to be madly in love with you one day, and throw you to the curb the next. The scary thing is, he means it when he acts however he acts, from the most intense love to the most shallow hate. But don't expect him to comit to one mental state for good.

I think you also need to acknowledge a few things. If he really loves you, really cares about you deeply, he should be concerned about your wellbeing equally or more than his own. If he won't change his habbits even though he blatently sees the suffering he's putting you through, he's putting him first and you second. You both may believe he loves you, but that's not love.

Please, for the love of god, don't trap yourself in misery over an addiction. What addiction? Love. Love, especially intense love, feeds your brain a daily administration of dopamine that produces a very similar effect to cocaine. Just like coke, the withdrawl is unbearable. You need to face this, and understand that your intense fear of losing him is pretty much the same fear of not getting your fix. I know you have logical reasons for caring about him, and I'm not necessarily saying it's unjustified, but you will create nothing but suffering for the both of you if you won't even be open to the notion of knowing when a relationship has failed.

You're a smart girl, confident, and pretty. There's so much in life ahead of you that you don't yet see coming, so many perspectives you haven't even begun to glimpse. You can never truly know a situation or state of mind is the right one, until you can look at it from the outside. Just consider this.

My thoughts are with you, and I want your suffering to end. I hope you can want it as well, and know what it takes to end it.