Shit that happens during sex

[TallulahGreen]

My ex used to answer her phone when her mom would call even when we were in the middle of it, but I wouldn't stop. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie.

I'll admit I've done it before. . . .

[kingjustin]

I was doin my girlfriend when I was like 16 and her big ass dog came in and started humping me from behind. Then he was growlin and shit when I was trying to push him off. All I can remember is thinking " Jesus I hope I don't lose a testicle because of this".

[cannabis campbell]

LMFAO!!! ^

[darth stoner]

2) Changing positions on the beach and got sand all over my dick (End of session!)

LOL

[ex-stoner/new grower]

Well, I was in the shower once with my girl of 2 years at the time,(now ex), and I don't know what came over me but I just started peeing on her in the shower like all casual and shit about it and she was all, "What the fuck?" And I didn't really have a good reason except for telling her I just felt like peeing on her...I mean it was in the shower...but it gets worse, so later on in the night she is giving me this incredible blowjob...deepthroat and all, and right as I bust a nut, she takes it all, but then spits it on my chest like "SPLAT!" And she responds with I just felt like spitting on you. So 2 days later, she is sucking me off and as I'm about to come, I tell her to stop and I grab her head and shoot it all in her ear, I laughed pretty hard too cuz I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you try to wash jizz off, it kinda likes to stick to the skin...especially hair and she was in there complaining she couldn't get all the jizz outta her ear.

[duckfool]

haha, two words, pussy farts.

Am I the only one who Isnt bothered by these / finds it kinda hot?

Well, I was in the shower once with my girl of 2 years at the time,(now ex), and I don't know what came over me but I just started peeing on her in the shower like all casual and shit about it and she was all, "What the fuck?" And I didn't really have a good reason except for telling her I just felt like peeing on her...I mean it was in the shower...but it gets worse, so later on in the night she is giving me this incredible blowjob...deepthroat and all, and right as I bust a nut, she takes it all, but then spits it on my chest like "SPLAT!" And she responds with I just felt like spitting on you. So 2 days later, she is sucking me off and as I'm about to come, I tell her to stop and I grab her head and shoot it all in her ear, I laughed pretty hard too cuz I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you try to wash jizz off, it kinda likes to stick to the skin...especially hair and she was in there complaining she couldn't get all the jizz outta her ear.

Haha your fucked up, but hilarious.

[Goin_easy]

Its always pretty funny when your having sex on the bathroom or kitchen floor (any tile floor) and your back suctions to it making an extremely loud farting sound. Hahaha.

[headfirst]

I had a condom "fly off" my johnson and shoot across the room. Chick started laughing so hard it pretty much killed the moment.

[whisky]

haahahah i cant stop laughing toms story and the one about the sand is really funny!! im trying to think of some weird experience i had... one of those period things happened to a girl i was with once.. we were on the floor and i was playing with her and there was no lights i felt this mucus shit on my hand and though it was just normal liquid but i found it wouldnt rub off pretty disgusting... i just pretended i didnt notice anything and she told me guess what and i said what ( what could it possibly be ?? ) i tried to sound like i didnt know while she talked about it.
alot of times like 80% of the time i take too long to come.. it once got to the point after 1 hour 20 minutes in the theatre bathroom i just said fuck this my legs hurt and stopped.. girls come alot of times it feels good to have made them feel good but sucks in my part.

ummmm... the first time i was going to have sex the girl didnt want to loose her virginity and told me we could have anal sex.. so i said fine and lubed her up.. as i was about to push my cock into her it slipped because of the lube and ( i was going hard stupid me ) it rammed into her and she bled .. im really not a bad person so dont try to kill me for doing that wasnt my fault

i had sex in a forest several times... careful when you do it on the forest floor or even a field. theres little bits of plants those yellow things that look like wheat thingies well those are spiny and stick you your clothes.. we decided to get completely naked and put clothes on floor.. bad idea.. it hurt on the way back home i couldnt get those things out and had to put underwear and clothes on and it would keep pinching my cock ass everywere.. her too

if you dont have fuck ups in sex its just sex you dont remember it later .. i cant remember much lol..

i was at my girlfriends house and she has al elder sister right. she was 18 her sister is 22 or so not that big. in the morning her boyfriend and a friend came over and they live really far away like 8 hours on bus and the boyfriend went to have sex with the sister and the friend slept on the couch in the living room. we were watching tv then got really horny and started fucking infront of him ( hes asleep anyways ) but in like 5 mins he woke up and my girl went to make breakfast but i was pissed and couldnt stand it went to the kitchen pushed her up against the wall and fucked her there.. the kitchen is connected with the sisters room and her and her boy came out and saw us.. but no regrets i loved that girl so much.. i still do.. but im not with her anymore

[LIP]

The funniest/strangest sexual thing i did when i was 14 with my 17 year old bird. We was shagging on the top bunk of some beds, while my mate and his girl were shagging on the bottom bunk, and my mate bartlet was just watching on the floor - and the bed was shaking like mad - and someone was passing around a wooden spoon LOL - small house parties with stupid amounts of alcohol results in hilarious sex. In the end i gave up coz i just couldnt cum and my girlfriend was nearly asleep.