"I like the fed ex driver cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it"

"I had an ant farm them fellasdidnt grow shit"

"I wish i was in little league now ide kick some fuckin ass"

I f you like him you would probably like steven wright; same one liner style but much dryer humor. He was the radio voice over in reservior dogs. I saw him live with my dad when i was like 10 so funny.