My mom has pretty bad depression and seeing as how I seem to cycle between extreme elation, euphoria, and confidence to feeling worthless, outcast, lonely, with suicidal thoughts, I'm most likely some form of bipolar. I smoke a lot of pot and it does help me feel NORMAL - and I still sometimes feel like I have that intense energy, complete immersion, creativity energy and the loneliness, outcast sort of feeling at other times...but it's not the same, which is good...but at the same time....ughhhh. Sometimes I just want to keep going up and up...but the weed takes me down, which is probably good for me, but it's unsatisfying - it feels like I'm missing a part of me (pot doesn't cause creativity, btw, just a relaxed view of social norms, which is good in my case). And at other times, it gets me out of bed in the morning, allows me to rest instead of finding a lot of unnecessary tasks to carry out with maniacal devotion.

I don't know. In this world, I'd smoke pot -- and I do. But in another world, where emotions flow more openly, where all relationships are more about quality than quantity, where people don't take substances to purposely impair their judgment, where people aren't socially ranked by their ability to please the rich minority, where war is seen as silly and childish, and where TV wasn't used as a brainwashing tool, I don't think I would ever need to touch pot.