biblical contradictions: hit me

[Oneironaut]

Okay, how about this one? When the women arrive at Jesus' tomb, according to Luke, Mark and John, the tomb was open, but according to Matthew it was closed.

And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.

Who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away.

The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.

But:

The angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.

Or how about these two Biblical passages, which clearly contradict each other:

Thou shalt not kill.

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

So, God makes a commandment prohibiting killing, and then makes another commandment to kill your wife if she's had her cherry popped, and one to kill women who are raped in the city if they don't scream loud enough.

Regardless of whether or not this is a contradiction, this is a stinking heap of extremely barbaric misogyny.