Quote Originally Posted by kdspecial
We have never been good at talking about stuff,, She gets too angry flips out and I just trun right off in defense (Im patient and dont like to yell it doesn't help the situation) before anythign really gets talked about.. She gets mad. I withdraw cuz I don't know what to do cuz its so overwhelming. Then I bet she feels undervalued or somthign Shes always saying im not listening, The cycle continues...
kd
2 Different problems big guy.
^^^This is the one you have to worry about in your relationship.^^^^

She is finding it easier to blame you/weed/(I'll bet there's other stuff she blames too that you haven't mentioned) for her own inability to keep on top of personal goals and growth.

This is weakness on her part IMO and while we all get the luxury of our own little quirks, she is being unfair by blaming it on you.

BTW I believe that gardening is a totally worthwhile hobby; don't get rid of the grow box... she says she's smoking because she's bored... dare I say it... that she may simply be BORING? Sounds like someone needs a hobby... and it's not our dear KD.

It sounds like you have been very flexible in all this and unfortunately thsi may be sending a signal that all she has to do is throw a fit and you will change rather than have a confrontation about whatever is bothering her... it's a breakdown in your communication patterns... when she becomes angry and you shut down... if you are going to save the relationship you have to start by changing your usual method of solving problems together. Because the weed is like, NOT the biggest problem you're going to encounter in your relationship... I know you hope to buy a house some day... be ready for some SERIOUS problem solving... and if your current method of just caving to avoid confrontation keeps up, you're going to REALLY resent her in a few years. PROMISE.