Hey, welcome to the club. I've felt the same way before, about life being pointless and shit. And I've definitely had suicidal thoughts before too, although I could never actually kill myself.

When it comes down to it, your life is what you make of it. The fact that in a few million years there will be no sign you ever existed doesn't matter; a few million years ago there were no signs of any humans anywhere, and that clearly doesn't bother you. We, like everything else in the universe, are temporary.

Which, when you think about it, makes life a very precious thing. You only have this moment, right now, to experience anything. So what if your life doesn't have a point that was defined for you before you were born? Your life is as pointless as you perceive it to be. Purpose is a human concept; it is not something objective that is intrinsic to things. There is no purpose to an atom, or a rock, or a star, or a human being, besides the purposes that we humans ascribe to them in our own brains. I'm glad there is no predefined purpose to my life; that just means I have the freedom to live according to my own purposes.

Don't turn to religion for an answer; religions will only give you answers that were imagined up by superstitious dead people who said they had all the answers with enough certainty that other people believed them.

If there's anything this Virginia Tech incident has to teach us about the world, it's that the universe is completely indifferent to our wants and desires. There is no God up there making sure everything goes just right for you according to his divine plan. There is no karma making sure you get rewarded for all your good deeds. Religion is largely a way of pretending that the universe does care about us. In reality, though, we have to accept that the universe is indifferent to our emotions, and the only way to achieve more good emotions than bad is to work together to overcome the randomness of nature and tip the scales in our favor. Things will never be perfect, but with our capacity to think and to love our fellow human beings, it is possible to make the world a better place and increase our collective happiness.

And that is the meaning of my life. I want to use my capacity to think and to love so I can make the world a happier place for me and for other people.