i just realized i haven't actually said anything about the tragedy, i don't want anyone to think i'm an ass or don't care.

i lost a brother, and when everyoen told me they're sorry and they offer their condolonces, i obviously cared, but it didn't help much.... so i really don't know what to say to those who have suffered... i do care, and i wish it never happened... but caring doesn't actually help the heart ache (atleast for me)

so to those who suffered don't think i don't care and was just trying to make gun control arguments... ignoring the pain was how i dealt with it, so if that's how someone else chooses to, i perfer to ignore the subject as well.... there's nothing worse then when you want to forget the pain, and everyone just keeps reminding you...


it also has alot to do with not understanding tho... i'd love at this point to be able to 'explain' it so it doesn't seem so senseless... but the fact is, it is 100% senseless... there is no explination, and that hurts all that much more...