More relentless contemplation, by yours truly.

[Ganj]

I should get mad rep. points for this.


Ladies and gentlemen, the following segment of this post is the epitome of doubt. Your advice is always welcome, however it is not vital. Doubt consumes knowledge, and immerses your "faith" into a realm hardly visited by the strong-willed, until it transforms you into a machine. Eventually, doubt will consume a promising spirit, until all that remains is a breathing carcass.



I feel sorry for myself at times, I realize the harm I bring in the atmosphere, however as I am guilty so are you.

It is I who looks in the mirror with a critical eye. I see flaw, a liar and a thief, a nuisance to your calm, and a boy with no purpose.

I am eternally convicted of injustice by none other than myself.

To view myself through these suffering eyes, I only become more distant. It is ironic, that by trying to be the best, most righteous person, I only shy away under the stone of improvement...of perfection in all relevant matters in reality.

I seek reality, yet the search leaves me baffled. The whole process could be deemed distracting itself.

Ganj Reviewed by Ganj on 04-12-2007. More relentless contemplation, by yours truly. I should get mad rep. points for this. :p Ladies and gentlemen, the following segment of this post is the epitome of doubt. Your advice is always welcome, however it is not vital. Doubt consumes knowledge, and immerses your "faith" into a realm hardly visited by the strong-willed, until it transforms you into a machine. Eventually, doubt will consume a promising spirit, until all that remains is a breathing carcass. I feel sorry for myself at times, I realize the harm I bring in the Rating: 5

[mfqr]

I should get mad rep. points for this.


Ladies and gentlemen, the following segment of this post is the epitome of doubt. Your advice is always welcome, however it is not vital. Doubt consumes knowledge, and immerses your "faith" into a realm hardly visited by the strong-willed, until it transforms you into a machine. Eventually, doubt will consume a promising spirit, until all that remains is a breathing carcass.



I feel sorry for myself at times, I realize the harm I bring in the atmosphere, however as I am guilty so are you.

It is I who looks in the mirror with a critical eye. I see flaw, a liar and a thief, a nuisance to your calm, and a boy with no purpose.

I am eternally convicted of injustice by none other than myself.

To view myself through these suffering eyes, I only become more distant. It is ironic, that by trying to be the best, most righteous person, I only shy away under the stone of improvement...of perfection in all relevant matters in reality.

I seek reality, yet the search leaves me baffled. The whole process could be deemed distracting itself.

It took me awhile to understand this (I think I do), but I think what you're trying to point at is the irony of life? I don't know. This is definitely not the right stuff to read while stoned! I will continue to ponder this. Props to your complex thoughts, but I won't give a rep point, since I don't think that's what matters .

[Ganj]

It took me awhile to understand this (I think I do), but I think what you're trying to point at is the irony of life? I don't know. This is definitely not the right stuff to read while stoned! I will continue to ponder this. Props to your complex thoughts, but I won't give a rep point, since I don't think that's what matters .

You're right. Rep. points do not matter, however I felt it would be appropriate seeing as how I am always disturbing the members here with my self-pity. Ganj is synonymous with self-pity.

[Kid Dynamite]

Suck it up dude...

as my old man used to say "Lifes a bitch, and then you marry one"

[Inferius]

Choose whatever illusion makes you the happiest.

[Weedhound]

There is only one person who can change the way you feel: you.

Doubt, while sometimes being overwhelming, seperates the intelligent man from the non-thinking one. Those who don't doubt things don't learn. Doubting is a form of questioning imo. Like anything else it can be taken to the extreme but I certainly appreciate my ability to doubt things....it means I am doing my own thinking.

If life seems that black to you you should look into getting some help. Just remember that NOTHING will change for you until you start changing it. And what you see everyone else enjoying about life can indeed be yours as well. It is all in your hands.

Good luck.

[Ganj]

Umm... you feel it appropriate to receive rep for feeling sorry for yourself?

Terrible, isn't it? Apparently I am known to you all for more than my sullen disposition, but for other qualities that I am not even aware of.

I'm glad that none of you showed me pity, that is not what I am seeking. It's expression. At times, my mind will revert into this mode and I can record my thoughts and feelings with impeccable accuracy, although I'm never quite sure what it all means. This writing comes from a spirit inside me and this is it's means to escape, I think. I posted this for you all. To read, to enjoy and to purge your own minds. I document my fears so that later I can look them in the eye and see it for what it is.

On the other hand, professional counseling has been arranged and I am to speak with someone soon about these patterns of behavior and thought.

[Weedhound]

Good for you Ganj! And when you do feel more balanced what you are experiencing now will give you great empathy in the future.

Good luck.

[higher4hockey]

you should stop using all bold letters.

[Ganj]

you should stop using all bold letters.

That's a step. Haha! All of these confessions and the only thing that bothers you is the darkened text. Thanks, man.