I hate shaving my nuts I scratch for about three days and everyone looks at me like I got an STD so from now on i'm gonna let em grow till they look like a pair of coconuts then i'll cut a hole in the bottom of a fruit bowl put it on my lap and stick my stupendously hairy balls through it and wait for some poor hungry sod to walk past and then when he grabs them i'll be like PUNK'D!! and runaway and giggle like a sissy

Wow.....I think I had too much caffeine.