I wouldn't reccomend smoking. You need to heal from your abuse and smoking will make you forget what happend for a while, but I will not heal you. You need to find a new support system to help you through this. Use a counsler if you must. While it is sweet that you are helping your mom, you need to completely heal yourself before you can help your mother simply for the fact that you are too emotionally weak to handle her. Once you can overcome this battle, you can use this strenght to brush it off your shoulder, and you will feel MUCH better and you can help your mother much better. When you are feeling weak, use your new support system to help you through this, even if it means just writing in a diary/journal. While weed can make you comfortably numb, it may just make you remember all the abuse.

While suffering may cause you pain, it makes you stronger knowing what you have overcomed. Do not blame anything on yourself, never blame yourself, while it may be hard to be optimistic, you need to try find the best qualities in things.

Your mother is suffering just as bad as you are, she just can't realize it.

Pick a mantra, and whenever you are feeling down, find a way to be alone, go outside, breathe, and repeat your mantra, or simply listen to your CD. From what you say, this CD is a goldmine, I wouldn't go anywhere without it if I were you. It's okay to admit that you can't always help your mother, and it is unfair that you have to do this alone, it is a huge burden. I respect you for doing your best.

Having your father away makes it harder as well, not truely knowing if he is okay. Make sure to connect to your father as much as possible, even if you write multiple letters a day. I hope he knows about your situation, for when he returns he can have the right attitude towards you and your mother. Your father can also give you some advice.

I hope all goes well. :hippy:
Samwhore Reviewed by Samwhore on . Spiritually Using Marijuana To Overcome Emotional Trauma? To say the least, from Summer 2005 until Summer 2006, I experienced some of the worst emotional trauma I believe one could face. My Mother is diagnosed bipolar-schizophrenic, and during that year, she was off of her medicine while my Dad was overseas. Despite my efforts to get her and myself help, nobody did.. and I suffered with extreme mental abuse for those months from her. I don't want to go into the details of what occurred, but she was to say the least overwhelmingly psychotic and abusive Rating: 5