FUCK. I just typed like two pages worth, and then lost everything...

oh well.... I typed previously that I have expirienced basically the exact same event as you.
You need to grieve over the pain you expirienced.
Weed can help, not with the greiving but with other things... Like meditation.
In my case, my depression was ended when I first discovered cannabis, in one single psychedelic session. It gave me strength, courage, and understanding.
It still helps, but in other ways. It's as if the drug teaches me slowly, when I binge, enriching my subconscious with ideas that only emerge consciously over time. This happens usually when I binge, but ends when my tolerance gets too high, (usually around a week or two).
Therapy is the usually the best solution for healing.
Stronger psychedelics can used with great potential, but some risk.
Here are some links that helped me: This Is A War - ABUSE
This Is A War - DEPRESSION
The Journey to the Emotional Frontier Within-emotional defense mechanisms
Helpguide: Expert, non-commercial information on mental health, healthy lifestyles and aging issues
You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss (Parade Magazine): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
How to Be Happy - WikiHow

the joy2meu site has a lot of great info, be sure to check that out
And remember, there is nothing to fear any more.
Never be ashamed of anything you feel or think.
You have the right to be happy.

Peace