Okay, hang on. I'm a noob, so let me step back a pace.

Get some perlite. Drainage is crucial, and sand can sometimes fuck up your pH. Plus, that shit is heavy.

You live someplace with that superhigh RH. Your plant knows this. The lower the humidity, the more crystal. It gets like concentrated kwim? From evaporation?

See, this is why I'm not a teacher. I don't know how to put things.

Also, everytime my furnace kicks on I get a killer vibration under my butt/area. Random I know, but I had to say it.