Bud,
My parent's divorced early when I was 6. I now, just at 35, realize how it has effected me over the years. You can't expect a deep relationship with an another individual who never learned how to reseprocate love. Day by day another day we wish was different but we have to learn to accept reality. Life is a journey and sometimes hard, and sometimes beautiful in fantastic ways. I now just wish that my kids had a grandfather who was part of there lives, and they do, just on my wifes side of the family not mine.

Its the knowing that things could be different that is hard. I even now and after counseling still have an irresistable urge to try and change things. You can't. Just try to do the best you can. Your not alone.