no father

[budsmoker only]

so today my mother asked me how i would feel if my dad didnt go to my graduation... my response was if he doesnt wanna go, then hes not gonna go.. cant force him to do somethin he doesnt wanna do... well as a lil background on my father he left me and my mom when i was about one yrs old.. so i never knew what its like to have a father, the closest i have ever had would be my grandpa who is there for me whenever i need him and loves me... i was just sitting here thinkin bout how my life would be if i grew up with a father figure to instead of just my mom... my mom did a great job and i love her to death but i was just wonderin... but ne ways it just made me really depressed to think about how im one who has never had a dad there.. i mean he loves me and shit but he has never been there for me like others have... i cant even consider him a dad.. i asked why he wouldnt and my mom said work.. that really hit me hard because it shows whats more important to him... i dunno why im even posting this, i am just wa depressed right now and wanted to get some shit off my chest... he tells me he loves me and i tell him back but i just dont know if i mean it or not... i didnt even know that i would be this emotional bout somethin like this but i am...
im sorry i wasted your time if you read this.. but did any of you out there grow up without a father so to say?? its just i have never thought bout this in my 18 yrs of existence and now that i have it just really got to me...
and please no flamin on my "dad"..

budsmoker only Reviewed by budsmoker only on 03-29-2007. no father so today my mother asked me how i would feel if my dad didnt go to my graduation... my response was if he doesnt wanna go, then hes not gonna go.. cant force him to do somethin he doesnt wanna do... well as a lil background on my father he left me and my mom when i was about one yrs old.. so i never knew what its like to have a father, the closest i have ever had would be my grandpa who is there for me whenever i need him and loves me... i was just sitting here thinkin bout how my life would be Rating: 5

[mattks1]

i feel ya man. dad was overseas when i graduated so i can understand where youre coming from. i was also raised by my mom, and i am thankful for that. i learned a lot from her that i dont think i would have learned if it would have been different. just dont let your past predict your future. im sure u had nothing to do with it and could certainly do nothing to change it. shit happens, and when it does you gotta clean youre shoes off and keep walkin (just make that shit about the shoes up but u catch my drift). smoke some doja and listen to some marley and itll be all good

[Breukelen advocaat]

The hell with graduation - it's all bullshit. I picked up my diploma from the school's offices.

Congrats, anyway! :thumbsup:

[tootsie roll]

so today my mother asked me how i would feel if my dad didnt go to my graduation... my response was if he doesnt wanna go, then hes not gonna go.. cant force him to do somethin he doesnt wanna do... well as a lil background on my father he left me and my mom when i was about one yrs old.. so i never knew what its like to have a father, the closest i have ever had would be my grandpa who is there for me whenever i need him and loves me... i was just sitting here thinkin bout how my life would be if i grew up with a father figure to instead of just my mom... my mom did a great job and i love her to death but i was just wonderin... but ne ways it just made me really depressed to think about how im one who has never had a dad there.. i mean he loves me and shit but he has never been there for me like others have... i cant even consider him a dad.. i asked why he wouldnt and my mom said work.. that really hit me hard because it shows whats more important to him... i dunno why im even posting this, i am just wa depressed right now and wanted to get some shit off my chest... he tells me he loves me and i tell him back but i just dont know if i mean it or not... i didnt even know that i would be this emotional bout somethin like this but i am...
im sorry i wasted your time if you read this.. but did any of you out there grow up without a father so to say?? its just i have never thought bout this in my 18 yrs of existence and now that i have it just really got to me...
and please no flamin on my "dad"..

I'm sorry. I know you feel bad. there's no telling what an adult thinks.

I didn't have a dad either really. He died when I was small.

[birdgirl73]

You're not wasting anyone's time, Budsmoker. Just expressing feelings that needs to be expressed. Glad you felt you could do that here, and I'm sad for you that your dad hasn't been in your life enough. From what I can tell, he's missed out on a relationship with a really good son. A young man he'd be proud of. Sometime down the road, I suspect he's going to be real sad about that if he isn't already.

This is an unfair thing for kids, but there are some men who stuggle a lot more with growing up and taking responsibility than others. Don't know why exactly, but they're the ones who don't have relationships or provide support to their kids. They struggle with the responsibilities of marriages and, often, staying employed. The truth is, they're still kids themselves. Kids in avoidance mode, usually. Women occasionally struggle with this stuff, too, but that's much less common where parental responsibility is concerned.

Don't know if this helps you feel better or not right now, but there's one thing you can do about this even if you can't change your dad himself. When you have kids of your own, you can make sure you're always connected, always there, always providing whatever type of support you can. You can break that cycle in the family you have when that time comes.

Peace to you, sweetie. And congrats on your upcoming graduation!

[budsmoker only]

thank you all for your kind words...i still cant believe how hard this hit me... and to birdgirl i am definitely gonna always be there for my kids... they are going to have the best god damn father i can be...

[officerleeroy]

Budsmoker- I'm in a similar boat as you. I met my dad for the first time when I was about 13...I met him in a blood testing office. I met him after it was "confirmed" that I was his child. After that I had to meet with him every 2 weeks from then on. I admit it was very weird at first...but then there were times when I feel that we really connected. Most of the time though, I felt as if when we were together it wasn't because he was there becasue he wanted to be, but because he was there by law. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but that's just how some people are, I wish you the best with you and your dad.

[Skink]

This is what people don't realize when they give their thumbs up on same sex marriages and single parenting... Fact is we are creatures made of a Man and Woman and each play an important role,,,the more we accept different the more the human race will detereorate... I grew up in a very dysfunctional family,,, as a result,,, and as much as I try to do right it is not right,,, I can't relate to normal situations in life,,,and i do try hard...

[bong_man]

i grue up with a father, who beat the shit out of me for fun. still live with him. hes grand now, but i never ever ever had that whole daddy son thing and i did'nt have any of that granddad shit ither. Never told me he loved me or any of that and i never told him i loved him, never hugged him etc etc never wanted to, were grand the way we are lol

[budsmoker only]

once again thanks, and to bong im really sorry to hear that.. no kid should have that
leeroy that must be rough, ive known him for my whole life, well kinda, but he has just never been there if yall get what im sayin...
my mother has done her best and she is great.. i love her to death and i dunno how it would be with my "dad" but i think i might be happy he was never around, i dunno...