You're not wasting anyone's time, Budsmoker. Just expressing feelings that needs to be expressed. Glad you felt you could do that here, and I'm sad for you that your dad hasn't been in your life enough. From what I can tell, he's missed out on a relationship with a really good son. A young man he'd be proud of. Sometime down the road, I suspect he's going to be real sad about that if he isn't already.

This is an unfair thing for kids, but there are some men who stuggle a lot more with growing up and taking responsibility than others. Don't know why exactly, but they're the ones who don't have relationships or provide support to their kids. They struggle with the responsibilities of marriages and, often, staying employed. The truth is, they're still kids themselves. Kids in avoidance mode, usually. Women occasionally struggle with this stuff, too, but that's much less common where parental responsibility is concerned.

Don't know if this helps you feel better or not right now, but there's one thing you can do about this even if you can't change your dad himself. When you have kids of your own, you can make sure you're always connected, always there, always providing whatever type of support you can. You can break that cycle in the family you have when that time comes.

Peace to you, sweetie. And congrats on your upcoming graduation!