I was never close with my dad until the past year or so. He use to be pretty mean to me and my mom, but he matured. He is still really odd though. He didn't have a father,and his mom work pretty much 24/7, and early in life he went down a bad path and fucked up his brain. Atleast you made good descisions without a father. My mom also didn't have a dad, or mom. But she had her grandparents, who I think are good enough as parents.And until I was about 9 I only saw my parents around an hour total a day, sometimes less. So in a way I know where you are coming from, but I don't really. My mom shows resentment towards her father, and my dads didn't really have a way to live.