The men I know gossip about other people they know getting taken advantage of in car or real estate or business deals, for the most part, but they also gossip if they've heard something on the female grapevine about extra-marital dalliances. I suspect they gossip about women when they're out of our earshot.

We women, on the other hand, don't tend to limit ourselves to just those few categories. We talk about anything and everything we can think of.

I recently learned a painful lesson about this subject. Was going along with someone who initiated a topic in which he was running someone else down. I played along and wrote some hurtful words that I didn't mean. Unfortunately, the person who got mutually run down was someone I love and care about deeply, far more than I even realized at the time. And that person was worth about a hundred times more than the person who initiated the run-down. Well, serves me right. The person who we ran down found out about it and confronted me and was understandably hurt. I was far more at fault than the person who initiated the run-down, ultimately, because I participated instead of standing up and telling the initiator my true feelings and making clear where my real loyalty stood. This is going to haunt me for the rest of my life because causing pain to someone I love--and to this loved one in particular-- is the last thing I ever want to do. Even now when I think about this, I get teary and still want to knock myself in the head for being so hurtful and stupid. My husband wasn't pleased with this event, either, because he respects the heck out of the friend I ended up hurting.

This person I love who found out about the run-down has found it in his heart to forgive me, reflecting what I've always known, that he's a far better person than I am. But I remain haunted by the possibility that he could just as well have tossed me into the trash and never spoken to me again, which would have been what I deserved.

Sorry for the long story. I hope it'll help everyone everywhere think before ever talking ugly about someone else. Please don't ever ever do that. It's true that the real character of a person comes out when they think no one else is looking, listening, or reading. I see the fact that my friend found out as a good thing, really, because it taught me such a deep lesson and brought my hurtful foolishness out in the open. But oh my, if I could undo the hurt I did, I would. Randy, if you're out there, this is my way yet again of telling you how sorry I am and how very much I love you. Thank you for being a better person than I could ever begin to be. Thank you for still being friends with me because I don't deserve that honor. I'm awfully glad you have bestowed it on me nonetheless.