DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY!!!??

[Dutch Masta]

go to the doctor, and be upfront with your marijuana smoking - if you're going to be prescribed meds to change your brain chemestry, your doc needs to know everything you're on, including herbs and supplements.

doctors dont know anything about the effects of marijuana. nobody does because there is restriction on the amount of research that can be done on "illegal" drugs that have "no" medical value.

[RyanTheCaveman]

Well after gettin caught ona diff. drug twice in school and ODing and going to a mental hospital for suicidal depression...im now being drug tested and watched all the time. Life just got worse...and gettin even more worse...
so i cant smoke weed or do any other drug. and my depression is gettin worse everyday. Right now im gonna be honest(i dont like telling other people how i really feel). I'm suicidal and depressed, drugs helped alot. made me feel better. but since i cant do drugs and life is gettin more shittier and worse, i just want to die. I know someone will say "its not worth it! dont do it. Live!" but you just done understand. i dont liek whining. but i DO need help. but i dont want to ask anyone....i would feel worthless and ashamed. Everyday i think about suicide and how i should just move on. one friend knows about me being seriously suicidal. I'm on anti depressents...its called Zoloft...but its not working. nothing is. Honestly- it's pointless to live right now. I use to be a very happy dude. But i've changed so much in the past 3-4 months, and so much has happend.


I miss mary jane .

[zeebo phillips]

I have depression/anxiety. Weed helps, but sometimes it just isn't enough for me either. I would get panic attacks during the day and they would have to send me home so eventually my mom gave me Clonopin; very powerful stuff. Eventually it got to the point where I was abusing the pills and ended up fucked up all the time. I was really slow and I often didn't remember certain events/places/people. Thats also really not good when you're a teenager...but you don't have to worry about that...

Now I learned how scary meds can be and I don't take it unless I absolutely need it. Just [sorry to bring "coping skills" up for my fellow former mental patients:silly:] use self-talk and you'll make it through the situation. Sounds like I'm preaching something thats easier said than done, but the medication route can be dangerous when it comes to panic/anxiety/depression.

My friend always tells me to find a goal for each day, even if its small. Then gradually add more goals to each day, or set new ones during the day. It'll make you feel a lot more like you're actually getting up and actually accomplishing something in the midst of your funk.

Hope that helped...

[LuckyG]

Well after gettin caught ona diff. drug twice in school and ODing and going to a mental hospital for suicidal depression...im now being drug tested and watched all the time. Life just got worse...and gettin even more worse...
so i cant smoke weed or do any other drug. and my depression is gettin worse everyday. Right now im gonna be honest(i dont like telling other people how i really feel). I'm suicidal and depressed, drugs helped alot. made me feel better. but since i cant do drugs and life is gettin more shittier and worse, i just want to die. I know someone will say "its not worth it! dont do it. Live!" but you just done understand. i dont liek whining. but i DO need help. but i dont want to ask anyone....i would feel worthless and ashamed. Everyday i think about suicide and how i should just move on. one friend knows about me being seriously suicidal. I'm on anti depressents...its called Zoloft...but its not working. nothing is. Honestly- it's pointless to live right now. I use to be a very happy dude. But i've changed so much in the past 3-4 months, and so much has happend.


I miss mary jane .

Your major problem is right there in your post. You don't like telling people about how you feel. I've dealt with depression since I was fourteen (so almost seven years now) and one of the things that helps a lot is to talk to someone about what's going on - and I don't mean on forums or chatrooms, you need to actually talk. Find a friend who'll just listen to you, or if you don't feel like talking to a friend then talk to yourself - you'll feel silly at first, but it helps. Be honest, and talk about everything that is bothering you. Right now you have all these thoughts bouncing around in your head, and you need to talk to let them out and give you some headspace. Once people understand how you feel, I'm sure a few will want to help you out.

I think someone recommended Vitamin B earlier - I will back that up 100%, I had a nasty bout two months ago and a co-worker of mine recommended some B-75. It cleared that up in a matter of days, so long as I kept taking it regularly. My constitution is weaker than most people's though so it may take longer to kick in for you, especially if your symptoms are as bad as you say they are. You might also want to take a higher dosage, B-100 or something.

Don't focus on your lack of drugs as a part of your problem. Right now drugs won't help - if you get high while you're in a bad mood, you'll just have a shitty trip, and it'll make you feel even more helpless. Find something else that interests you, like a hobby, or help a friend out with one of their hobbies. Take up reading, or drawing, or whatever - something to reward you and occupy the mind.

Talking to your ex helped a bit, you said - now apply that to everything else. If there is anything - a picture, or a keepsake, or whatever - that makes you feel guilty, or has a bad memory attached to it, get rid of it. If you have a problem, work it out. Break down your bad habits and destructive patterns. This will not only "take out the trash" so to speak but also give you self-confidence as you begin to see that you can control your life.

I know you might not be able to see it right now (and I forget it sometimes too), but life is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Don't worry about the big picture, just take life as it is, day by day, and enjoy the little things. Get out, help people, talk to people, try new things - it's a wonderful world, and you deserve to be a part of it.

Also get some hugs. Hugs are awesome.

[Nailhead]

There are some really great posts in this thread, and Ryan I think I can relate to your situation. I've had depression for a long time, but only recently has it seemed to be getting worse. It doesn't help when none of your friends call you on the weekend anymore, and your life is so pathetic that you actually look forward to work because it's the only thing that gets you out of the house, but I do think the best advice I've heard is to talk to someone. I know it isn't easy, I'm still very guarded with what I tell people, but even if you just talk about a few things about yourself to someone you trust, eventually you can start talking about things that are closer to you. I wouldn't expect you to just open up to someone and talk about everything, because I can't see myself doing that either, so start small, and like somebody said, take things day by day and try to appreciate the small things in life.

One of the most therapeutic things that helps me is a nice drive with no music on and the windows down through the mountains. I'm fortunate enough to live close enough to mountains to be able to do that, but this is what works for me and it might not work for you. The point is, try to find something you can do that is simple but relaxing, something that helps you appreciate little things in life that most people take for granted.

Talking to people still probably is the best help, but I'm still pretty guarded with my emotions myself so I can only tell you what works for me and it is things like I mentioned, or watching the sun set in the evening, or just looking at the mountains. That won't cure depression, but it will definitely make you feel a lot better and help you clear your mind. Exercise is also a great anti-depressant.

[Trip06]

I know how you feel about drugs easing the pain. I had depression sence I was around 12. Im 21 now. A lota do to the fact I had a rocky adolescence in grade school, kinda messed me up socialy. I know theres no actual pin point problume with me other than I just felt shitty about myself. I went through some really rough times and 'self medicating' really helped me unwind. But I was just getn fucked up to much and outta control so I had to quit. It really made things worse around friends and family. Idk im not half as bad anymore but can still use some unwinding day to day.

[darkestXredX]

yeh i have it to. i hate that i do too but its like i cant help it. im nto emo or anything or do anything for attention. but i am really deeply depressed. im thinking suicidal thoughts and i really want to die. but i know it would kill my dad. sometimes i think i wont make it in life and stuff. i wont tell anyone im depressed because they would think differently of me. i have changed alot recently...and i think thats why my gf broke up with me. even though i still have feelings for her.
i just wish i could fall asleep and not wake up.

take care man,
ryan

i feel like that too
im like its just to hard...idk how im gonna make it anywere
i used to be depresed...but it kinda just dissapeared
im happy about that but the future scares me and i dont know if its normal

[LuckyG]

I've had depression for a long time, but only recently has it seemed to be getting worse. It doesn't help when none of your friends call you on the weekend anymore, and your life is so pathetic that you actually look forward to work because it's the only thing that gets you out of the house...

That sounds familiar. I had a week where I'd get up, go to work, come home, shower and eat, and go straight to bed because it was easier than occupying myself.

Shitty times. We've gotten better since then.

[RyanTheCaveman]

Well the friends that i thought were good friends (ever since i got suspended and had a bad drug problem with one they didn't agree on) they all pretty much abandoned me. At the time i needed help the msot i was just brushed off...
also i got some weed from my bro and i am going to smoke today and hopefully i will feel better while high...just cant get caught by my dad.

and the reason i dont talk about it - is because im ashamed.
I already kinda planned out my "death"....i dont know- but everythings changed. everythings gone to shit. I guess i lost the will to live.

i really...reallllly hate talking about it.

[Trip06]

Find ways to make yourself happy. For instance nobody feels good when they look like shit or dont have shit and cant do anything about it. Make money buy something new, allways makes me happy.