Well after gettin caught ona diff. drug twice in school and ODing and going to a mental hospital for suicidal depression...im now being drug tested and watched all the time. Life just got worse...and gettin even more worse...
so i cant smoke weed or do any other drug. and my depression is gettin worse everyday. Right now im gonna be honest(i dont like telling other people how i really feel). I'm suicidal and depressed, drugs helped alot. made me feel better. but since i cant do drugs and life is gettin more shittier and worse, i just want to die. I know someone will say "its not worth it! dont do it. Live!" but you just done understand. i dont liek whining. but i DO need help. but i dont want to ask anyone....i would feel worthless and ashamed. Everyday i think about suicide and how i should just move on. one friend knows about me being seriously suicidal. I'm on anti depressents...its called Zoloft...but its not working. nothing is. Honestly- it's pointless to live right now. I use to be a very happy dude. But i've changed so much in the past 3-4 months, and so much has happend.


I miss mary jane .