Quote Originally Posted by BlueCat
My father was the same way Torog...but I have raised my kids not to be intimidated. They know right and wrong but they are not afriad to talk to me or to their dad. They call me almost everyday...we are very close...I never had that with my dad...I value everyday with my kids...we have such fun together because there is no tension. I think a lot of people miss out on a really enjoyable friendship because they are so busy being the boss. They never get to know their child as a person.

Do you think by being really stern you close down communication lines? Is it really good to be terrified of your parent?

Awaiting your opinion....

Cat
Howdy Blue Cat,

Yup,by being too stern,you do close down lines of communication,however,a child should be able to communicate to some degree..just not to the point where it constitutes being a smart-alec.

Just as we should be fearful of the Wrath of God,we should also be fearful of the wrath of our parents..but if that wrath is just and the child knows it,then it is not terror..but rather , tough love. Those children,who do not fear the wrath of their parents,are usually trouble-makers and git into more trouble. Children should have an absolute,guiding moral authority,in the form of their parents,those children whose parents don't set rules and don't care where their child is..are often un-happy and have life-long problems with authority figures. They also tend to be self-abusive and depressed,and put themselve's into bad situations with bad people who will take advantage of their rebellion against authority.

It feels more right,to a child,to have boundaries and for their parents to not be such a friend,as to loosen up those boundaries of moral conduct and behaviour..they are most secure,when their roles are clearly defined. Until children reach the age of majority and legal status as adults,they should be treated like children..not as little adults,with adult decisions,being forced upon them.

As soon as my daughter turned 18,I began to treat her like an adult..with not only adult freedoms,but adult responsibilty..I told her that she would be responsible for her actions as an adult,in an adult way..and that the law,would expect the same. Before she turned 18,I told her that this was no democracy-that I was the absolute ruler..granted-I was a just and merciful ruler..but at least she knew where she stood in the world..and there was no confusion about that,like there would be,in a household where the children are treated as little adults and not as the children that they are.

Have a good one !