Advice about my roomate

[Diary of a Madman]

I have a serious problem with my roomate. What do you guys think I should do. Keep in mind, he was once a decent friend, so I dont want to murder him if I dont have to.

Everything he touches is covered in sticky slime. He is just fucking gross. His food rots in the pantry and fridge and he never throws it away. This week I found where he left a bottle of worchestershire (sp) sauce in my pantry with the lid loose that slowly dumped some stank shit over the course of god knows how long on our food.(I live with him and my girlfriend). He has like 3 inch long dirty finger nails and digs through our ice thing in the freezer!!! His room is just covered in food bags and wrappers. His desk in his room is just a dirty, sticky mess covered in ash and stems and food shit. I wouldnt go into his bedroom, if it wasnt for the fact that since he has lived here the past 2 years, he wont throw trash away and I basicly have to wipe his ass for him. One time I went into his room to open the window this fall, to let air circulate, and their were like a hundred dead fruit flies on the window sill. He orders used panties online and drives 30 minutes from work home for lunch everyday to jack off on his computer (dont ask how I know). I work at home and this is not cool. The dogs start barking and shit when he does, and I have to be on the phone sometimes........almost done. I could go on forever about what a piece of shit he is now.

After the fly thing I basicly said "what the fuck, that is fucking nasty". But he did what he always does. "oh, ok, whoops" and then not give a shit. Maybe I should mention the fact that this is a condo that I own. No one else.

So today I go in there to inspect for rats and roaches, and there is a condom, with a french tickler on it, sitting on his desk. He doesnt get laid. You dont use a French tickler to masturbate.......do you? I had to buy a lock on my BR door today b/c my girlfriend is basicly afraid of him panty theiving. So I throw all of his food trash today and push the fucking condom in the middle of his now empty desk (not with my hand) so he might be fucking shamed to know that one of us saw that shit. When he comes home for lunch and leaves, we look in his room, and he just got pissed and threw the condom BEHIND HIS MONITOR.

I am divorced and can barely afford to live here without a roomate. He gives me $550 a month. Otherwise, it would be very easy. I dont know anyone that would move in.

He keeps playing these games with us and I am about to blow the fuck up in his face...........sorry for long ass story

Is there something magical I can do to embarass him or talk sense into him or beat the shit out of him?

Diary of a Madman Reviewed by Diary of a Madman on 03-16-2007. Advice about my roomate I have a serious problem with my roomate. What do you guys think I should do. Keep in mind, he was once a decent friend, so I dont want to murder him if I dont have to. Everything he touches is covered in sticky slime. He is just fucking gross. His food rots in the pantry and fridge and he never throws it away. This week I found where he left a bottle of worchestershire (sp) sauce in my pantry with the lid loose that slowly dumped some stank shit over the course of god knows how long on our Rating: 5

[NewbiePacker]

Long ass winded post. Kick him the fiuck out peroid.......

[zalami128]

Punch his ass.

[timothylearyisdead]

since you can't kick himi out right away, i say blow up on him. just start freaking the fuck out. that might make him come to his senses. and definitely put an add out in the paper for a new roomate, because anybody else,even a complete stranger, is better than this guy. there's no doubt about it, this guy can't stay there. maybe if you freak out on him then he might clean up a little bit while you have to have him there. violence isn't the answer though because he might press charges.

[Captin]

hahaha, sorry some of that was pretty funny. Anyways, if talking to him about it doesn't work maybe you should "blow the fuck up in his face" He'll certainly know how you feel then.

[4gan2ja0]

threaten to kick him out, or kick him out

[halfassedjediknight]

since you own the condo, kick him out. put an ad in the paper for a roommate and get this guy out, he sounds like a freak.

[Diary of a Madman]

hahaha, sorry some of that was pretty funny. Anyways, if talking to him about it doesn't work maybe you should "blow the fuck up in his face" He'll certainly know how you feel then.

that shit IS kinda funny, just wish it were happening to someone else. Thats why I typed the long tirade, some of it is almost humorous.

[ericwt]

You have got to kill him man!

Just kidding.

Good luck.

[Nochowderforyou]

Maaaan that is sick. I couldn't handle that kind of shit.

By the sounds of it, you need him there due to getting by with rent. I suggest you find a friend you can live with as a new roomate, and when you do, give that sloppy guy 2 weeks notice to get the hell out.

Just find someone else as a roomate, even advertise in the paper, then when you do, give mr. stinky his notice, and out he goes.

If he's not on the lease and your name is, then you have that right to kick him out, with notice of course. I think it's 48 hours notice, but give him 2 weeks so he doesn't end up on the streets.

That's what I would do anyways. Just replace one with another, a better person because that is sick!