Tips from the wise...Don't say these things to a cop

NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been smoking marijuana:rasta: ?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

13. Why don't you go fu#$@k yourself...

I like #12 the most :thumbsup:

When ever i'm near dunkin doughnuts(which is often) there is almost always a cop there.:wtf:

#12 is deff the best

#14 - Why was I going so fast? Well I had the accelerator pushed all the way to the floor. It opens up the throttle plate, and lets more fuel and air in, thus raising rpm and consequently velocity..... See this? (point to steering wheel) This makes it turn....

15: is that your nose or are you chewing a banana.

Never,I repeat Never ask a cop,AND I QUOTE-"Do you have to wear your gun to get a hardon to have sex with your wife??"

I was standing in downtown Austin when after being arrested,my GF asked the cop this...needless to say things went downhill Very fast after that!!

^^i bet he was gay(the cop)

ahahahaha

Not bad at all, especially number 12 :thumbsup:

heres #15: "What appears to be the officer, problem?

You can try offering them a hit like I do to my mom, that doesn't make her happy though :jointsmile: