I read Jakez cool stoner mum story so thought i'd post my own.
I've known for years that my entire mum's side of the family have always been hard tokers. My auntie stayed with the Maori tribe of New Zealand and smoked so much Maori Waowi she pissed herself.
Anyway, so this is last year in my gap year. My bro has been visiting from Plymouth and him, my mum and I are all in the mini dropping him at the station. As we drive away, my mum starts complaining about her bad back, she'd had one all day apparently.
So I jokily say 'you need a reefer to sort that out' :D . She suddenly perks up like a mofo all like "Really? Do you have any? Can I honestly have some?". I say "Wah? No, your not having mine." Now my mum is really eccentric and has a proper BBC accent, goes to get her hair done, etc.
So we're driving back and the conversation is literally "Come on, just let me have one spliff!", "mum, for fuck's sake, i'm not giving you any. I don't have money for anymore", "You ungrateful kids. You and your stoner friends are always coming and smoking up our wendy house. The least you could do is sort your deal old mum out."
So she starts all like "What about Tom Magauly? (my best friend) Doesn't he have any? Where does he live?". I say "Just leave it mum, he won't give you any." She asks "Where does he live? It's round here." "He lives just down there?" *pointing*
She whacks the corner at the last minute like a freaking crack addict. I'm getting worked up and start shouting "Mum! Fucking leave it, my best mate isn't going to sell you dope."
So you know how when your mum's dissapointed in you they start mumbling little things under their breath about how you've let them down? She starts doing that because I refuse to give her weed, all like "*mumble* ungrateful teenagers... *mumble*... Just want one stupid spliff..."
So we pull in the drive. "Please!" she says (not an asking 'please' but a full on desperate 'PLEASE!!!'
"No mum."
"Fine. I'll call Darryl then."
:eek:
Now Darryl is this guy who lives down the road from us and works with my stepdad. A proper family man with two little girls and a homie wife, etc. Boring as fuck. I say "You mean Darryl down the road?" She goes "Yes. He'll help me even if you won't." "....Uuuh. Darryl deals cannabis?". "*sarcastic* Umm, YES. He'll get you coke, pills, hash, anything you want. He's in the fucking music industry."
This is totally mental. I knew my mum used to toke but I never would have dreamed that she'd have a dealer somewhere in between phone numbers for piano teachers and hair salons on her mobile.
So long story short. She takes a lovely bottle of wine down the road to Daryll and his lovely wife and in return they give her a lump of hash, enough for a joint. She comes back and I still think she's lying. She takes out the hash and shoves it in my hand, still annoyed with me.
"Here. You'll have to roll it. Your Auntie used to do it and she's not here."
So I roll up a big ol' hash reefer and me and my mum chill out downstairs and toke up to Brideshead Revisited. Mums man, you gotta love 'em :thumbsup: !
Sorry's a bit long folks.
